by Ben Johnson | Nov 21, 2017 | Footie, Match Ratings
Pre Match Alright gang. You probably hadn’t noticed but I didn’t do the ratings on Saturday against Southampton and I didn’t half miss it. So, to make it up to myself I have been scoring stuff, everyday stuff, out of 10. It’s well better than, say, not scoring stuff....
by Ben Johnson | Nov 4, 2017 | Footie, Match Ratings
Pre Match The team has dropped, as have jaws all over the world. Big Si the Mig is captain. I’m not a million miles away from going for a nice big walk and adding my season ticket to the river of flames. I genuinely, honest to the good lord on high, couldn’t think of...
by Ben Johnson | Oct 28, 2017 | Footie, Match Ratings
Today was the day for Jurgen Klopp to rip it up and start again. Calls for anyone centre half, and I mean anyone, other than Degsy Lovren and anyone with gloves (any gloves) in goal aside from The Mig were being lashed about all over the show. Kloppo, kept his cool,...
by Ben Johnson | Oct 22, 2017 | Footie, Match Ratings
GAME intelligence: 0/10 Nouse: 0/10 Bollocks: 1/10 Fucking hell… Simon Mignolet: 1 Fucking hell. Absolutely shite for their first. Shithouse in the extreme where he dives out of the way. I do wonder how his face ended up so flat when he would never, ever dream...
by Ben Johnson | Oct 17, 2017 | Footie, Match Ratings
Pre Match JUST switched on as their team was flashing up on BT. It would appear that they are playing a ’60s soul band upfront, so let’s hope Heaven is indeed missing an angel and it is wearing burnt orange or whatever the fuck colour our kit is. It’s also a...
by Ben Johnson | Oct 9, 2017 | Footie
LAST week, after Newcastle, I would have paid close to five figures to have a couple of weeks break from watching the Mighty Reds. The international break, for once, seemed like something I could really get behind; not that I would spend it watching England or...
by Ben Johnson | Oct 2, 2017 | Footie
SO, what are you going to do now that we have all given up footie? I mean, it’s a bit of a blow and that, seen as we talk about it, think about it, tweet about it, sing about it and play it for probably 80 per cent of our miserable fucking lives but you know, we...
by Ben Johnson | Sep 25, 2017 | Footie
FOOTBALL has a way, every now and again, of conjuring up a defining match out of an otherwise routine game. A rhetoric builds, a pressure is exerted and all of a sudden, a precipice is presented with a couple of obvious options. Take your chance, leap into the unknown...
by Ben Johnson | Sep 19, 2017 | Footie, Match Ratings
Pre Match: THERE’S something about Leicester. Sounds like the shittest ever film sequel that, doesn’t it? Where a fella pretending to have a disability, one whose face starts to melt the closer he gets to the city and a small-time crook with horrific dress sense...
by Ben Johnson | Sep 11, 2017 | Footie
SATURDAY was good fun, wasn’t it? They say a rolling stone gathers no moss. Well I wish it fucking would. I wish it would roll like fuck and clatter into auld Jonny Moss, gather him up like a trodden-on snail and dump him right in the river. That said, it would...
