GAME intelligence: 0/10
Nouse: 0/10
Bollocks: 1/10
Fucking hell…
Simon Mignolet: 1
Fucking hell. Absolutely shite for their first. Shithouse in the extreme where he dives out of the way. I do wonder how his face ended up so flat when he would never, ever dream of putting himself in the way of danger.
Questionable for the second. Absolutely shite for the third as well. He surely has to scream at his centre half. The only man in Europe to have his mouth sewn shut. Embarrassing for the fourth. Shall I go on?
A liability. Not good enough. Imagine playing in front of him. Fucking hell. He will never be good enough for Liverpool. Let’s agree on that and come up with a plan.
In addition, see Degsy Lovren below and put Mig in his boot.
Joe Gomez: 5
Not at fault really. Imagine playing in front of this ‘keeper. Imagine playing in a back four with Lovren.
Dejan Lovren: Can you have minus points in this?
Keep it tight, lads. Oh. I mean, there is poor defending and then there is Degsy when he doesn’t fancy it. The best centre forward in the league against a fella who has just had the old tap on the shoulder, move to the other side trick for the first.
The second is why he will never be good enough. He has the mental capacity of a child. No ability to forget what has gone before. A fucking weakling. Should have been take off on 10 minutes.
The fact he lasted half an hour was a miracle. Probably the worst performance ever seen by a Liverpool player. If he was dragged it was 20 minutes late. If he asked to come off it was still 20 minutes too late, although it speaks volumes for his character or lack thereof.
Shouldn’t play for Liverpool again. In fact he shouldn’t be allowed back within the city limits. Like Thelma and Louise. Choice between getting arrested and razzin’ it off Otterspool Prom.
Joel Matip: 5
Struggled, but then he was playing next to and in front of that. Should have done better with the header for the third but was probably wondering like the rest of the world why the keeper has got his mouth sewn shut. Is he good enough? I’d like to see him next to something other than a crab dressed as a clown.
Alberto Moreno: 6
Had a set of balls on him. Played well first half, not so much second. Imagine playing next to Degsy. Probably why he has had such a tough trot since he signed.
James Milner: I don’t know. Mark him yourself.
Jordan Henderson: 5
Played a ball and a half to possibly rescue The Reds. (Ha ha ha, wrote that sentence at 2-1, less a rescue more an extension of some kind of torture. Like filling the water boarding bucket.) Tried, at least he tried. Surrounded by bellends, maybe it’s catching.
Emre Can: 3
Abject in midfield, probably worse at right back. Sake. Mindset is an issue, tried to do too much.
Philippe Coutinho: 5
Chewing it. Lacking graft. Epitomised the shite start by repeatedly looking at the referee while sat on the floor. An off day, probably no more. Imagine playing in front of them.
Mohamed Salah: 7
Our best player, one of the only ones with any bollocks. Scored by mishitting it. More of that, please.
Roberto Firmino: 6
Grafted. Makes sense in a good side. May as well have got off and had a chippy today.
SUBS
Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain:
Was bright. Feel a bit sorry for him as he is clearly a massive jinx. Some kind of voodoo shit on the go. Since he signed The Reds have been dogshit. Probably not his fault but you know, no smoke without fire and that.
Daniel Sturridge: Hmmm
Marko Grujic: 2
Brought on to kick Dele Alli’s face off and didn’t manage it. Disgrace.
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How can you put words in any sort of order to describe such a thunderously inept festival of fucking shit?
Ben Jonno 10
Indeed mate. Perfection it was.
Thanks for that comic relief, Ben.
Laughing my head off only 5 minutes after booting the dog.
Glorious stuff.
Klopp: 0
Hi Ben, I wouldn’t rate the team today. Seriously not even rate Lovren, as he is an easy scapegoat.
Remember he has been playing through pain killers as he has stated before in his interview. If that is true, then he has a genuine back problem and like our past players has not had time to recover. He’s not a great player on top of that and it’s a recipe for disaster, but who put him on in the first place knowing this?
The team look like they are tired of Klopp’s tactics and gegenpressing/rock and roll football.
I think if your ratings should/need to be about the following people:
– Klopp
– John Atcherburg
– That other guy who sits next to Klopp
– anybody who is in charge of defensive drills/tactics
– The nerd with the computer
– Monty Python’s Transfer Committee
I don’t fault the team today at all, yeah really, I wasn’t expecting a trashing, but looking at the game objectively without my feelings for once.
I think Klopp needs players who are of high quality to adapt quickly to the pressures of the league and his approach or he needs to dial down to the team’s level and meet them half way. Something has to give.
We are top heavy and in Jan, just buy the striker who can help us score the chances we can create to limit damage control on the other end.
Buying more CBs and playing a high line is not the solution. These CBs need to gel right away and that I think will be harder in the second half of the season (and if we’re still in the CL).
This is not an apology for today’s performance by any means, but I would really like you or someone on here to rate the people I stated above, since you did not rate Klopp at all.
What utter tripe! Yeah, there is blame to go around, but if Lovren’s back is that bad he needs to tell them he’s out. A bad back didn’t cause either of those mistakes. Lovren was shit because he is a shit defender. It’s not scapegoating to say that if Lovren wasn’t on the field, we’re up 1-nil on 24 minutes, and it’s a different march altogether.
What if Lovren did, and is still playing through pain killers? We don’t know what is said and not said behind closed doors, so he might be just taking it for the team and trying to do his job, is what I am speculating.
If what he has stated in his interview about the cocktail of meds he takes, then why is he being forced to play? Surely it must affect his boneheaded decisions?
Klopp also has too much faith in him, and as I have posted earlier on another article, the others who are not on the pitch are IMO more exposed today.
If you want to tear Lovren’s head off go for it, but make sure you do this to Firmino, Can, Matip, Migs, etc as they were left on the pitch to deal with the game for 60+ minutes.
Yeah, we were total shit today, see my other comment below. However, we’re 1-nil up early without Lovren today. Harp on all you want about back injuries, goals 1 and 2 were caused by mistakes my five year old doesn’t make. The team ultimately lost the game, Lovren is the reason we had almost no chance after 12 minutes. There is no defense of his play today, and it’s not the first time.
Fair enough S. I hear you and others on Lovren, I just think it’s a bigger problem.
Not expecting much, but the next match is against Huddersfield who beat United. So I would like to see Klopp’s response to this match as we might learn if Lovren is a changed man, sick man or replaced for good by then.
We need to beat Huddersfield by 9 or 10. Wish Lallana was closer to fitness, we’re desperately missing him.
Mate, Lovren categorically said he was fit and no longer feeling back pains or groin pains before the Maribor game. He said missing out on one of Croatia’s WC qualifiers helped him recover fully over the international break. I have posted the youtube link below. Start watching it from the 29 minute mark.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0LZ47R4qamg
So there you go. Let’s stop trying to make excuses for Lovren. He was plain shite against Spurs (and often is)
Oh man. How do you manage to engage brain and typewriter after seeing that utter pile of garbage. Klopp was a broken man at the end there and frankly we need to see a ruthless side to him now. We’ve enjoyed his charm and bonhomie but I’d have Rafa in an instant in the current situation
Klopp’s behaviour on the touchline generally mirrors that of the team. When we’re a whirligig of energy and playing the “emotional” brand of football Klopp favours we can be great, though not so much this season, however, when we’re bad, we’re shocking. It’s when we’re flat and most in need of some inspiration from the manager that his motivational and tactical nous are nowhere to be seen, he either just sits there with a blank look or frown on his face or stands on the touchline with a blank look or frown on his face. Although I’d prefer my team to play with ice in their veins rather than “emotion” as there are only so many times you can draw from the “emotion well” in a given season.
He places far too high a value on his supposed coaching ability, so rather than address the issues that everyone can see and have seen over the past 4-5 years, namely a dearth of quality at goalkeeper and centre-half, he believes he can train his way out of the situation when he should be replacing them. At this stage he’s just like Wenger, the team needs defensive strengthening so what does he do, goes out and buys more attacking players. Someone at the club needs to take a stand and stop the rot or we’re looking at yet another 3 year rebuilding “project” in the summer.
I do agree though that with (most of) this squad, the current owners and Rafa at the helm we’d be a lot closer to 1st (12 pts away) than 19th (6pts away) at this stage of the season.
There’s not much else you can say, apart from “all I want for Christmas is a new back 4 and a decent fuckin goalie”
On the plus side Souness is quickly becoming my favourite pundit.
That game should end Lovren’s career at LFC. Mignolet, well, the first and second shit, the third, what the fuck are Gomez and Can looking at there with their thumbs up their asses? Firmino was our best defender, Mo Salah finally banked without needing 10 attempts which is nice. I’ve been a big Hendo fan for a long time, but what exactly does he bring to this side as Captain, and he was anonymous other than one pass today, on the other hand, we’re really just debating which piece of shit looks the best in the heaping pile that is LFC this season.
Henderson IS NOT A DM. Do you not get this? He has thrived in the attacking mid position of the past.
When Klopp tries to force a Dortmund-process on Hendo this is the result after many tries. Add to this, the pressure of being captain fantastic ala Gerrard is not easy.
I for one still think Hendo is really hurting his development as a player and maybe even as a leader, by not saying anything about this, and just keeping mum and doing his job. Credit to him for doing that at least.
But Klopp is the person who needs to realize this.
No shit he’s not a DM, but he’s been bang on average all season, even in his forward role. As for his captaincy, I’ve never seen someone so quiet. Milner should have been in that position today.
Henderson has hardly played much in any forward CM role this season. He has basically been a holding midfielder in all the games.
And even at that, he has a goal and a couple assists, I think. Compared to Gini who has played further forward than him all season and still has no goals or assists.
I like Firmino. We all like Firmino. I just can’t believe that a manager who managed Lewandowski and then Aubameyang doesn’t want to have a player of that ilk up front for us. All my life we’ve had a player of that ilk playing for us. Klopp is trying to do things a different way and I just don’t understand why.
We can talk about spreading the goals around. It got us top 4 last year. By the hair’s breath of one point we got it. In an around the top 6, only us and United didn’t have one player to break 20 league goals. What did United do? They signed the guy from the 7th best team in the league who just so happens to score over 20 goals a year. Something which he’ll no doubt do for them. What we did last year was an exception to the tried and true formula of having lads up front who bang it in the net. Lads for whom it’s natural. Even Guardiola who everybody says passes you to death understands this.
All this of course is totally moot when we’re 2-0 down inside 12 fucking minutes. Improvements in personnel needed all over the field. I hear a lot in shows that it’s not worth talking about the summer business anymore. It’s been and gone. It’s tiring to bring it all up again. I understand that. To an extent. The fact is the shit show that was this summer hangs over us now and will do all season. We all expected the lack of a new competent CB to come back and haunt us. It’s basically done so EVERY SINGLE GAME. We’ve had two summers under FSG where we’ve been preparing for a champions league campaign. There’s a very strong argument that both have been our worst under them given what was required and what was delivered. Anyone expect us to rectify it in January? Me neither.
Lovren back wasn’t at fault when he jumped like a twat missing the ball for their second
Karius or Ward, please. Don’t care which.
Trent at right-back, Gomez in centre.
Please.
Exactly how I feel about it also.
Take their third goal. Can Sean Rogers please explain in “The Review” why we defend so high from their free kick that our first action has to be to run back to our own goal. You dont have to even be decent at dead balls to put the ball in thirty yards of grass behind our line. Why dont we defend the 18 yard line which means less room behind to put the ball in amd we can attack the ball ? And freeze the play just before that free kick is taken. Watch Matip’s bidy shape. He is facing the wrong way and looks surprised that the free kick is taken. Annd then has the change his body shape and back pedal like mad. PLease tell me why Sean.
I’d take a point off everyone for leaving the field before half-time so that Matip’s misplaced header ended up in 150m of space. That should have been a minor error quickly forgotten. Help a brother out lads.
I’m glad someone else would like help from Sean on the third goal.
Before the kick was taken, Matip is stood 3 foot towards the ball in front of Kane. Any ball over his head (and it’s the only ball Spurs can play ’cause Kane is the only man in the box) means that he has to run back and try to head a ball that’s dropping over his shoulder. Surely if he stands alongside Kane or, if he wants a running jump, stands 3 foot behind (with Kane between him and the ball) so he can see the ball coming and attack it, he has a better chance.
I’m not being clever after the event – I pointed this out before they took the kick.
Matip is an elite level player and I’m not so I’m sure there must be a reason for it so I would love to hear a qualified coach explain why a centre back would stand there (any hopes TAW)?
Fucked off to the back teeth again
Liverpool ruin my life
Seriously lads
First thing has to change is FSG
We need to get banners out
Signs
Planes
Has to happen this week
Get them out to fuck
Newcastle bought over now, Rafa 500 million to spend
They will overtake us next
It’s never going to change unless we get rich owners
I don’t want to see lovren Or migs in a Liverpool shirt again
Never
And I’ll drive Can to juve in the morning if he wants a lift
I could go on
How is FSG to blame for Lovren being our centre back?
Small club mentality
Pay shite wages
Won’t pay the fees or wages needed to attract world class talent
It’s sad today that it’s all about the riches
But we will fall further behind otherwise
We need a world class keeper
2 world class defenders
A world class left back
A world class defensive Mid
A world class striker
To even think of channelling again
Can you see that happening under FSG???
We don’t need all that at all. We need a top keeper, a top cb and a striker all of whom are within fsg’s means.
Is it within there means ?
This isn’t a new problem
It’s the same problems been there throughout there tenure
Now there’s someone who’s never going to be happy :) I can’t see that happening under anyone unless we become the German national team. What a terrible post, although it looks very much like one comment i read on TIA site last week (which is never a good idea) – after we won 7-0.
I’d like to see Ward given a go now, and even though i generally support all the players as my default position, if Lovren never plays again, i’ll be quite happy.
Lovren is on a 100,000 a week and Sturridge on 150,000 ! We pay higher wages then Spurs and Arsenal and we are not even in London. Its more like we pay too high wages to shite players.
Cut and paste my comments from the article:
Last week it was Klopp moaning about the parked bus. This week an expansive, open Spurs team who have much more quality than Maribor, carved us open with the same type of approach.
Today’s game to me indicates that maybe it isn’t the team, defense or attack, but maybe Klopp needs to adapt to the team for once. The game has exposed the following for me:
1. Lovren playing through a cocktail of pain killers as he said in his interview, but nobody is fucking listening, including Klopp, I think does have side effects on your judgement at work.
2. Klopp seems convinced we don’t need a proper striker. Firmino is not Aubameyang and forget Dortmund now. Those were diamonds in the rough against a one horse race league, and Bayern blinked in between.
3. Players out of position again and we are not a balanced team. Henderson is not a DM. He never will be at the levels Klopp needs him to be and lead the team at the same time under high pressured situations. Hendo is spurning his chance to develop up front which is where he thrived in the past. I feel bad for him and the Ox as I still have no idea what he is doing at Liverpool.
4. The team as a whole could have done the job, but tactics needs to change to adapt to the team’s level. They are not the level of Barca or RM. Running fast does not qualify either as Moreno and Joe Gomez also run fast like Salah and Mane.
If Jurgen wants this to happen like he succeeded with Dortmund in the EPL you have to buy the finished article for the spine and then some, but also have to adapt your approach to some degree. You cannot convert every player into a superstar. Imagine how good Coutinho would become in the company of Messi and Suarez who would immediately raise his game?
5. Arsenal and Maribor results flattered to deceive at best. Problem lies with Klopp thinking too highly of this team, and must dial down his expectations and approach.
6. Mane, Adam Lallana and Clyne are missed but so were Spurs other important players, so I don’t think them being in it would have a massive difference if everyone was fit on both sides. Spurs and Poch are miles ahead of Klopp and LFC now. They are showing it on the pitch.
7. Lastly I would fire John Atcherburg. That guy’s garbage on the evidence of all our goalkeepers since he has come in. I am still waiting for anyone, including TAW, who can tell me what exactly he has done for Liverpool goalkeepers?
Next up the mighty Huddersfield who beat United’s parked bus. There wasn’t much of a response since City beating us, and now another top 6’er has done us in.
I’m not expecting too much now, just damage control until January to maybe get a proper striker more than that all-saving defender like VVD, because we are top-heavy and might as well go for it.
Looking for scapegoats. Look no further than a system that plays so high with a “false 9” that does not score enough despite an all out attack philosophy. Put de gea in goal with azpilicueta, vertongehen, a fit Vincent company and a left back of your choice and in this Liverpool set up even this backline would concede a plenty. Not as much as our current personnel granted but still a fair few. I cannot see any other manager in this league that would play Moreno in a back four in this defence – 3 at the back maybe but not this. Love Jürgen but he has to learn – if you are going to play this system then numero uno get a dynamic deep lying athletic defensive midfielder. Number two get a proper striker who will take advantage of the opportunities you create. Mignolet not a top keeper but by god what an easy scapegoat for simplistic analysis.
Firstly I don’t care about Lovren and his pakillers tale. I’m sure there’s plenty of players who play through the pain barriers and injections all over the league. Never heard the likes of Suarez and other much less talented players play that card. I’m trying to be impartial but I felt like it was put out there by him as an excuse which gave me an impression of mental weakness stop making excuses lads win or lose. Secondly I don’t know why we persist with Hendo as the 6. I’ve always felt we needed a defined player at 6 either someone who defends and that’s it, gives the ball to someone else as soon as it’s won never gets forward unless we’re completely dominant OR say fuck it and go for a play maker in that position. I don’t think he does either. No offence to the lad but he’s not a game changer soon as we go behind in any game do you expect him to grab the game by the scruff? Or do you see his head drop like the rest of the team? Then again perhaps I’m still too sour but there ya go.
I dont think Henderson is naturally cut out for that position either. I prefer him as a box to box. The problem is even when he is playing that 6 role to the best of his ability, he can’t win.
You say you want someone who gets the ball and just lays it off to the forward thinking players. When he does that though, many accuse him of just doing sideways and backwards passes.
And then you also say he should try and grab the game by scruff of the neck. When he tries to do that, people start accusing him of bombing forward and leaving us exposed. There is only so much one can do as a number 6, especially someone not naturally suited to the role.
Hopefully Keita can come nail that role in the way Klopp envisages it.
I feel for Lovren. No-one goes out to have that happen to him.
That said the one good thing to come out of this “comedy” (as my Spurs supporting friend called it) was the absolute irrefutable evidence against our defense, both individually and collectively.
That said, in my opinion, Salah (reaally good), Firmino, Gomez did ok, Moreno (played really well), Hendo worked himself to the very end and Matip did ok when under no pressure (I know !. Poor old Emre a half a yard off, mentally disjointed, pretty bad. Jimmy Milner, well he gave Spurs a wonderful assist with his classic “floated ball into no-one but the goalkeeper” pass for the start of the second, he also mis-cued, over or under-hit everything in an awful first half. Phil kept going,god bless. Migs had a special.
Anyway no matter what the attack created the defence was gonna sabotage today.
Everything about today was a shambles, everything.
I just cannot keep forgetting their 3rd. We were undeservedly in the game, anything could’ve happened in the 2nd half had we seen the first out.
Before the free kick I’m thinking “clear it out then the ref blows for half time and we go in 2-1”. So we show absolute amateurish behaviour and fail to see it this way and gift them a goal. I’m not a professional, I don’t claim to know loads about football, even in hindsight, but I thought this was an absolute common sense approach right at though the end of the half, but we had other ideas.
Dejan Lovren – up there with one of the worst individual performances of any player in a red shirt I’ve ever seen. Painkillers or not, seemed like a player who for when it got tough he showed a complete lack of mental fortitude. Disgraceful.
Worse than City that today for me by a mile.
Lovren was awful but I think Mignolet was almost as bad – where was he going on the first? The other three were all savable in my opinion. To excuse Moreno as he’s played next to Lovren is laughable – he should have been sold after Norwich & Basel – I have to question Klopp bringing him back from last season’s cold, he just can’t defend.
At least these rating made me smile a little bit.
Thanks for that!
I’ve been making the point about playing with shite players around you for 2 years now. We can all say good things about three of the back five. The whole situation with Moreno was strange at the beginning of the season but I think that he deserves his place. And your point about him is spot on. Can you imagine not relying on your partner on the left side of defense for three years now? Maybe he did work hard enough in training last year as Klopp said he did. Shouldn’t we support such an attitude instead of just waiting for his next mistake?
Can you imagine being those guys and not relying on your goalie for each coming game?! Can you imagine being those guys and seeing that there is no third choice for a center back in a game that there are 60 minutes remaining against your alleged rivals for the top places in the league.
Therefore it is pretty obvious that 3 places needed to be replaced for the 2nd summer in a row, and why haven’t they? I’m not pointing fingers just yet but I just can’t imagine that Klopp couldn’t identify at least one better replacement for those 3 spots.
Brilliant from Ben again.
The final one about Grujic brought me a proper laugh. The first I have had since witnessing that absolute bollocks of a performance by the not too Mighty Reds.
Wondering if anyone got the stats on how many games Liverpool has won with Milner, Henderson and Can in midfield? Somehow that was my biggest concern before the game. Needless to say that is not on the forefront of anybodies mind – because of Degsy’s “Santa is alive and Spurs get all the presents” showing. For me Milner/Can works but not with Henderson – it never has and it never will. A greater worry for Liverpool: who can honestly blame Coutinho for wanting to leave? It’s not like there are an overwhelming chance that we will repeat Istanbul. Things will get better over the season as they can hardly get any worse. But it is truly makes me sad writing of the league in October. Maybe it’s not all bad – trying to find positives here – Grasping for straws I know!!
it’s time to remove a couple of players from the stress of first team footy and let others have a go. Want to see Karius and Ward dressed up for match day for the rest of the season. Might as well play Gomez as starting centerback. Maybe see if we can give Robertson some game time. Just need to make sure he got game brain in front of him (ex Lallana). Klopp should focus on players that he plan on keeping – making them gel. But we are in dire straits if changes are not made and results are not improved. Ex VVD can’t hardly submit a transfers request in December wanting to play champions league and win medals!! The implications of this season looks rather dire at the moment. So it will be a very delicate balance act until May. Klopp will need to be ruthless when selling come next summer. We need only to buy gamebrain, desire and application. We all know that in this day an age there are no guarantee Klopp will still be around in August next year. We truly need to pull together on all levels and stay true to the word:
When you walk through a storm
Hold your head up high
And don’t be afraid of the dark
YNWA
Comic relief time.
Me, I am gonna stick 5 bob on Liverpool to do another Istanbul this season. It has a load of similarities for me. We have good players and not so good players, when we are good and things roll our way we are deadly. When we are not good … well no need to go any further. Nobody gives us a prayer, we are not certain to get out of the group and a team in blue are running away with the league.
Our better players will (hopefully) be around come the knock out rounds, Mane, Lallana, VVD (?), (?).
On to the weird stuff.
I live in Cork, Ireland. We just won the League of Ireland for the first time in 12 years, last time was 2005. I the last game then we played Derry City to win the league, we had to win and we did. This year we played Derry City to win, we needed to draw, we did.
In 2005 we went on to play the other big team at the time, Drogheda, in the cup final. We lost. This year we play the other big team of the moment, Drogheda’s near neighbours Dundalk. Final in 2 weeks time. I will let ye know what happens.
On a (very) personal level, there are 2 major patterns playing themselves out exactly as 12 years ago, relationships and death, won’t go into it.
What the fu*k, 5 bob.
May I say 10 out of 10 for your ratings, and ratings description. You never rated Klopp !!
they said it all,calm down,let the dust settle,and see what klopp will do.cos most of the players do not seem to listen.
Can someone explain why we sign Andy Roberson for £10 million and he doesn’t get a look in cos he’s “still adapting to Liverpool’s style of play”
There were some playing yesterday who haven’t adapted but still play week after week