CAN I start with an aside? Is it actually even possible to start with an aside? Surely it simply becomes preamble? Whichever. This: in the comments after Neil’s review of the Burnley game (can we pretend that was the last one we played please? Just accept that the Blackburn game didn’t happen? Ta) there was a big shout. A huge shout. Massive.
Now, I like a big shout. You may have noticed that I’m willing to say the first thing that comes into my mind and damn the consequences. Hence the unbridled optimism. Hence the call that the kids were going to establish themselves in one moment of glorious destiny against Besiktas which necessitated a brief vow of silence thereafter.
This was a hell of a shout though. “Is Hendo becoming the new Souness?” (Cheers DJ Mark).
And I looked at it. And I thought: “Don’t be ridiculous, EMRE is clearly the new Souness.”
And I’m standing by that. I had thought, in the same game as Mark was formulating his Hendo call, as Emre held off yet another opponent while backheeling a casual nutmeg, as he oozed authority and arrogance and elegance, “Christ, this lad’s the closest we’ve ever had to Souness.”
Shoot me down as you wish, it’s kind of what I’m here for, but I’m standing by this one — even after his significantly less impressive game against Blackburn. (Sorry, forgot, pretending that one didn’t happen). I saw Souey have bad games as well.
And the point of this aside/preamble?
We all think differently. We’re seeing the same game differently. We have opinions based on the games we’ve seen before and sometimes these inform a rational attitude to the lad in red we’re watching and sometimes they inform an unforgiving stance where we’ll never see any good in a player. Which may explain — but not, perhaps, justify — this:
“F***ING USELESS STUPID C***”
Back and to my right. Every time Lazar Markovic touched the ball last Sunday there was this one guy who let fly with some combination of at least three of the four words in that sentence. Now, I don’t have a problem with swearing; my language tends toward the industrial at the best of times but since moving to the Main Stand I’ve toned it down a bit. Lot of older blokes sitting round me, nice blokes, well behaved, mates of my Dad for years — I feel like I should be respectful to them.
“F***ING USELESS STUPID C***”
It’s not the language though. Or the frequency. Well, okay, the frequency comes into it a bit. And I’m genuinely not having a pop at the bloke; I don’t know him, I didn’t see him, I only heard him. He might be reading this, he’s probably a genuinely nice bloke — if we met we’d probably get on like a house on fire. He’s — and this is vital, this bit — just like the rest of us.
“F***ING USELESS STUPID C***”
Every time Markovic looked like he wanted the ball.
He’s made his mind up about the player. That’s the important bit. He’s decided that, from what he’s seen so far, if Markovic gets the ball then he’s not going to do anything useful with it. He’s not going to take the man on, get to the byline and put a threatening ball into the box. He’s not going to cut inside and take the centre back on and fire a devastating Coutinho-esque curling shot into the top corner. He’ll play the ball back to where he was in the first place or he’ll run it into touch or he’ll shoot and hit a corner flag.
And, to an extent, he has a point. Markovic is not playing well at the moment. He is either not committing or committing too much. He looks like a player short on a little spark of confidence, possibly overthinking it a bit, maybe trying too hard but afraid to make a mistake so inhibiting his own game.
So we get on his back.
Not just the guy back and to the right of me. Others. Lots of us. Groans when he gets the ball. Like we did with Lucas. Like we did with Henderson. Like we did with Joe Allen until a fortnight ago when we realised he was actually really good. Like we did with Mignolet until Christmas. Like we did with Mignolet whose save in that game I’m not mentioning is the only thing that gives us the chance of a Wembley date with Aston Villa. Like we did with Carra — and you know we did.
I’m not pointing fingers. I’m as bad as anybody. I distinctly remember standing on The Kop declaiming a Souness performance as absolutely useless and demanding he be subbed. Immediately before he lashed in another one from 40 yards. I recall questioning Kenny’s ability to influence games any longer about three years before he stopped playing. You wouldn’t even believe how much I hated John Wark.
“F***ing useless stupid c***s” every one of them to somebody at some point — and every one proved us all wrong
Markovic isn’t playing well at the moment. We’ve seen brief glimpses of his ability over the last couple of months — he’s looked quite magnificent in short bursts and at other times he’s looked to be off the pace of the English game. He’s 20 years old and adapting to life in a new country, with a new team, with a new language. Is he going to be up and down? Of course he is. Is he ‘f***ing useless’? Almost undoubtedly not. He’s done well for us in an unfamiliar position so, as soon as his form dips a little, we decide that he’s rubbish again?
We’re just learning what he can do though aren’t we? It’s right that we reserve judgement until he’s proved that he can make the grade at Liverpool, until he’s won our trust.
Two words. Daniel Sturridge. Does Sturridge need to win our trust? Are we unconvinced about what he can offer to the team? Can you hear the discontent where you are? I can. Our kid can in The Kop. My mate, in another part of The Kop, can’t — hasn’t heard a single dissenting voice.
Sturridge is, it appears, too greedy, too slow, playing on ego, wasteful, blind to others’ opportunities, not the player he was. He can’t curl a ball round a keeper with his right foot? The groans go up. He doesn’t quite make contact with a through ball because his run wasn’t fast enough? The groans go up. He drops deep to receive a pass, holds play up? Why isn’t he in the box where he’s supposed to be?
Sturridge is looking sharper. His movement is becoming more precise, his reactions more alert. But he puts a shot wide and you can hear the mumbles. HE can hear the mumbles. The lad’s been out for five months, this is his pre-season. The likelihood is that he won’t be THAT Daniel Sturridge, not fully that Daniel Sturridge until next September. This is him playing himself into form and there are a fair few of us getting on his back when something doesn’t run well. Getting on his back like we did when it didn’t run well for Lucas in those games where the young Brazilian, new to the club, new to the country, would be in tears in the dressing room.
Like it or not, the players can hear us. They know what we’re saying, what we think of them. WE affect their confidence, they stop taking risks, things stop running for them, we get at them, we affect their confidence. Vicious circle, self-fulfilling prophecy, call it what you like, the end result’s the same; confidence and performance on a downward spiral.
The reverse is true, obviously. We get behind them, we believe in them, they go upwards. They’re only the same as us in whatever job we do; the boss gets at you, your head goes down, he gives you praise and you perform. The basic maths of the workplace. Look at what we did last year; they gave us everything, we gave back, they lifted to another level. Nothing exists in isolation.
And songs — our best players should have the best songs. We NEED a Daniel Sturridge song. Torres had one, Luis had one, Hendo’s got ‘Mrs Robinson’ blasting louder with every game, Emre’s name is now sung to the tune of Liverpool as though the two things were inseparable (fair enough, he IS the new Souness as we’ve established), Balotelli just has to close down a goalie and we’ll break into ‘Mario Fantastico’ but the best Dan gets is ‘one Daniel Sturridge’ or ‘Sturridge, Sturridge, Sturridge’.
Let’s give him something unique, something that’s HIS and nobody else’s. Let’s show him some love. Let’s show him it loudly, let’s make the ground reverberate with exactly how much we love the best English centre forward of his generation.
This isn’t the ‘get behind your team, we’re the twelfth man, the job of a supporter is to support’ tirade that you may think. It’s not the argument that calls for the ‘I pay my money, I’m allowed to say what I think’ reply; it’s a simple plea for us all to think a little before we decide that a footballer is ‘a f***ing useless stupid c***’.
That way we can skip the bit where we feel stupid when they prove us wrong.
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Pics: David Rawcliffe-Propaganda
Bang on. All of it.
Danny has needed a song for ages, shame his name just doesn’t scan or rhyme very well.
Great piece Ian. Nail on the head.
I’m curious is that fact or hyperbole about Lucas crying in the dressing room? Gutted for the lad if its actually true.
I made the Emre Souness call weeks ago. There’s something about his composure on the ball, his swagger and strength. Once he’s on a run, no-one’s going to get it off him; he cuts a swathe. He’ll have bad games, and may prove more Beckenbauer than Souness, but his potential is frightening. For Hendo, see Thommo. A loyal servant and fine captain, just unlucky to be playing in the same team at the same time as one born to lead. That’s my prediction anyhow!
You were right about John Wark. Great goalscorer but unbalanced our midfield: no-one knew where he was half the time.
I never saw Souness have a bad game. The rest is sound though!
Can’t Sturridge have Danny Murphy’s old song? I’m sure he doesn’t need it anymore and it would fit lovely.
I saw one as “pass to Sturridge on the left hand side, pass to Sturridge on the right hand side. He gets the ball and then he scores a goal…” (Pass the dutchie tune)
Get it going.
Boss that
Everything I’ve wanted to say, but haven’t been able to articulate. Brilliant.
They need us as much as we need them, which is hard to remember when we consider the relatively privileged world they live in.
As for the Sturridge song, this is something I’ve been thinking about for ages. I’ve found it embarrassing how long it’s taken. The problem is, Studge can come across as a bit cool for school (If you haven’t seen it, look up the article of him as the football hipster), and most of the songs terrace chants are built around just feel outdated, like we don’t really get him. Not saying Hendo’s a big Paul Simon fan, but I’m sure he knows it well enough. Studge needs a song from his world. And I think I have the solution.
(To the tune of California Love by 2Pac)
Daniel Sturridge, knows how to score ’em,
Daniel Sturridge, knows how to score ’em,
At the Kop eeeeeennnnnd, or the Annie Road.
At Old Traffoorrrrrrd, or at Goodison
At the Nou Caaaaaaammmmp, or the Bernabeu,
He gets us rockin,
He gets us rockin,
Pretty well known song, that the man himself will know and appreciate,
Easily adaptable to add in latest conquests (At the Ethiad, Emirates, Wembley, etc)
Lyrics that are close enough to the original to remember.
Only issue I can see is that it’s hard to sing loudly, and there are no wo-oh-wos, or der-der-der- ders, but I’d love to see it tested out at a match. I’ll be at the Newcastle game, but as Matthew Crist pointed out it’s hard to go in numbers bigger than two, so if you hear me singing it please join in!
My suggestion for the Sturridge song would be quite simple, but a great bounce tune.
To the tune “Happy birthday” by Altered Images (the verses rather than the chorus):
Danny, Danny Sturridge
Danny
Danny, Danny Sturridge
Danny
(repeat)
Yep, I know it’s stupidly simple, but would it get Anfield (or our rival’s stadiums) rocking – most definitely.
If we want anyone to join in with the atmosphere on match days (regardless of how often you get to the match), you need songs that aren’t too complex and won’t take much effort to learn / pick up.
Really good that Ian. I said myself, as if the players don’t know what we’re saying about them. If I played for Liverpool I’d be on here every night reading the comments, especially after I’d played well. But then it’s human nature to have a peep when you know you haven’t. Believe me, that’s what they do. They’re humans after all (horrible story about Lucas crying in the dressing room, it’s made me question myself to be honest).
Another thing is though, football’s a lot of things but one thing it definitely is is emotional. I starting to think that’s what the appeal is. My emotions are generally on the level on the whole, neither up nor down but football makes me go mental. Really high and really low and sometimes in the space of 5 minutes. I think I need both. I think we all do. Some people like having hot wax dripped on them or crocodile clips on their nipples but I don’t because I’ve got Liverpool. So, after a game I’ve said many things I’d regret if I had regrets, and that vitriol might last all week till the next game but I don’t really wanna lose that or more accurately It’s not something I can control, so I’ve learned to accept it. Bearing in mind I wouldn’t criticise someone to their face the way I have on here, just for having a poor game, and as the players are without doubt looking on social media and websites, then it’s out of order actually. That said, the answer for them is simple – play good. Also, I’m quick to praise them when they deserve it. I think some criticism is a little bit justified and some is just ridiculous.
I’ve got huge respect for whoever comes up with these songs. If you gave me a year and nothing else to do I wouldn’t succeed in adapting a song for Sturridge. Maybe that’s the problem, it’s tough to think of one. Chanting their name seems a bit beneath us with some of the brilliant songs we’ve created in the recent past. Simple can sometimes be good (but Sturridge, Sturridge Sturridge isn’t). A good example of some simple ones being good is the one ‘Jordan, Jordan Henderson, Henderson Henderson Henderson’. I love singing that. It almost seems like there won’t be one for Sturridge if we didn’t get one during last season but it’s not for want of trying. I’ve seen it posted on forums numerous times with people trying their hand. No one’s succeeded.
I’m still waiting for someone far wittier and creative than I to come up with the lyrics to ‘Stand by your Can’, of Tammy Wynette fame.
Please, someone.
I’ve played badly in front of a sizeable crowd, and no matter what the noise, someone calling you a f***ing useless c*** cuts through the air like a knife. You wouldn’t need to speak the language to know what is being said. That is why I have always had a soft spot for Lucas: the boy copped far more abuse than anyone I have ever seen playing, and it is a testament to his strength of character (and maybe RAFA who probably supported him throughout) that he eventually prevailed. It is also sad that he needs to redeem himself regularly because of injury. As someone posted some weeks ago – the boy from Brazil is as much Liverpool as the boy from Kirkby, and Lucas has much to do with Coutino’s rise.
So what has this to do with Markovic? Well, there’s some player in there fighting to get out, if we let it. He is obviously scared shitless about making a mistake.
All you need is Studge na na na na na
All you need is Studge na na na na na
All you need is Studge, Studge
Studge is all you need
Beatles song , ( ask your Dad. )
But that’s already Rush’s number tagged on the end of Poor Scouser Tommy. I think that one’s retired.
Hope that last bit didn’t sound sarky, didn’t mean to .
Has to be the first two verses of Danny Boy! Loud and up tempo. Make up lyrics as you wish…
Oh Danny Boy, The Kop the Kop is calling
from Shankley’s gates and down the Mersey wide…
?your lyrics here?
…Oh Danny Boy, Oh Danny Boy we love you so.
Can the Kop hit the high note? I think so.
The obvious choice would be ‘Daniel’ if it weren’t for; a) it being boring as hell, b) Elton John getting on my nerves and c) after the trauma of the recent departure of a certain Uruguayan, the whole ground singing, ‘Daniel is travelling tonight on a plane/I can see the red tail lights heading for Spain/Oh and I can see Daniel waving goodbye…’ – is not really going to do much for that rocking big match atmosphere.
Very good article though.
And the fact that Daniel is blind…..
Brilliant… Made me laugh out loud
He left coz you’re shit
He left coz you’re shhhhiiiittt
Danny Welbeck
He left coz you’re shit
I’m still laughing.
I’d like very much to know what everyone (including some of the lads on the regular and Tuesday show podcasts) who’s waxing critical (and implicitly knowledgeable) about how Markovic is playing the wingback/wide-midfielder role in our current formation actually KNOWS, for a fact, regarding what Rodgers is expecting of whoever is deployed in that role.
The ONLY person who’s played as RWB who has ‘taken him man on’, ran at him and beat him off the dribble has been Ibe. That’s it. I can’t remember for a fact whether Sterling has been deployed as RWB, but I think he has. He didn’t do it either. Lallana, whenever he’s played there hasn’t done, Manquillo hasn’t done it.
Maybe, just maybe, it is ONLY Ibe, given his specific physical capabilities and skillset has been instructed to do so. And, amazingly enough, vs Besiktas, HE didn’t do it either.
Taking on your man outside and whipping a cross in is unlikely to be our plan when we’re deployed 3421, unless we’ve worked on doing that all week and the ball is not whipped to a general area, but to a player or a specific spot in the box.
Taking on your man cutting inside and ‘releasing a thunderous volley’ is likely to be reserved (and preferred) for those playing WB on the ‘opposite’ side of their favorite foot. So, no, if Markovic is to go inside (as he does) the next move is either a one-two with one of the two AM or with the ST, or a through ball.
I watched the unmentionable game over twice. Everyone who comments on Markovic should, as well. I am willing to bet a small sum of money that you’ll change your mind.
Nah Emre Can is Hamann crossed with a young McAllister.
Hendo is more souness/mcmahon.
2nd yellow. How about inserting the lyric ” And when you score you take us all to heaven”. Works for me.
Sturridge rhymes with courage. A great, Canadian band, the Tragically Hip, had a hit in the early-90s with a song called Courage. Something could be made of that, I’m sure.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOgFnO4EXRg
You said it!!! Great article and absolutely true when it comes to criticism of players…I think that’s a Liverpool fan thing – a player has one bad game and we all, including yours truly, will make it sound like he never did a good thing for this team. I think that’s because we always accept the best out of this team! Really enjoyed the article