I MEAN, I don’t know, I guess that goes up there with the best ever way to win any fucking game especially against them fuckers.
The first 60 minutes was the most one-sided game against these I have seen. I like to think Baxter Dury had this first half/the current relationship between The Reds and United at the forefront of his mind when he wrote Miami…
I’m the turgid fucked-up little goat,
Pissing on your fucking hill,
And you can’t shit me out,
‘Cause you can’t catch me,
‘Cause you’re so fat,
So fuck ya…
Imagine that. What a world we now live in. They are that shit that they couldn’t catch a goat pissing in their kitchen because they can’t get off the couch, the fat cunts.
Unreal.
Alisson: 8
Where did you get your gloves, lad? Screwfix. Fucking Gorilla Glue, mother fucker.
The ball for Mo, mate. I’m screaming for him to keep it, to fall on it, to do whatever he does not to fucking kick it. Then he absolutely Xabi Alonso’s it right into his path and then is the first to slide on his knees to celebrate. In fairness the slide is better than the pass. Like Dancing On Ice.
Trent: 7
I don’t really know if I’m honest. Like, I’m not overly sure. Just asked all the lads, no one else does either. I reckon he was good, maybe not boss, maybe had a lot to look after. I don’t know and to be frank, I couldn’t give two fucks.
Joe Gomez: 9
Was incredible. Front foot all day long and was first to everything. Seven clean sheets on the spin. Wow.
Virgil: 9
He is amazing. He is genuinely amazing. Wins everything in the air. Was up for the goal for about an hour. Like it was obvious he was scoring for abar an hour.
Robbo: 8
Was excellent today. Neat and tidy, defended really well, overlapped all day. Did he take the corner to set the goal up? I don’t fucking know.
Gini: 9
He is just tremendous at the minute. Think everything City are missing from not playing Fernandinho centre mid and that is pretty much what you are getting in Gini. Hard as iron. Tremendous in them horrible little positions where he can just turn out of trouble like no one’s business.
Jordan Henderson: 9
Leading by example, isn’t he? Everywhere on the pitch where you need him to be. Twatting people, calling referees big massive nonce factories or words to that effect, boxing The Reds to the league one game at a time. Unlucky with the one against the post. Saved it, apparently, De Gea. Fucking horse head. De Neigh-a.
Ox Chambo: 8
Won his battles today. Passed it to feet now and again, which in fairness isn’t his strong point. Would have liked him to twat one of them little weird blonde mings playing on the left. Whether that is the one who had abar six sausage rolls in his sock, or the one who absolutely swallowed his own undies and everyone else’s around him. I thought he was boss? Hahaha.
Mo Salah: 9
One of the great images of a great season. Him with his top off, staring The Kop out, then turning round to Torvill and Dean sliding on their knees to give him a massive hug. Extra point for lashing his Under Armour.
What a way to win. Me and Melia were talking on 60, imagine we could have another N’Gog sausage. The greatest of goals, the winning 1-0, is there a diddle, is there a diddle, hang on he’s in here, last minute, Jesus Christ, and then the release… The greatest of all time.
Firmino: 8
That little touch he does where he kills it with the outside of his foot. Unreal. Sold their full back abar 25 times there second half in the one move but should have banged.
Sadio: 8
Oh my god, he should score that one at the end of the first half. Fucking hell, Sadio. Straight at the horse’s mouth. Was a bit berserk today. Made a load of mad decisions today.
SUBS
Lallana:
Come on and was absolutely fucking shite. Everything he tried was a nonsense.
Fabinho:
Boss that he is back.
Div:
There.
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I really thought we’d Twat them today, we are so overdue destroying them at Anfield, but after that Salah goal I’m not arsed.
We’re almost there.
And the sound of
“we’re gonna win the league” ringing out on full time has been too long coming.
I’m so, so made up that Hendo is finally getting the acknowledgment of his captaincy.
And I love the fact that Gini has the best arse since Dalglish.
Up the Reds.
Loved this write up and agree… Adam Lallana was back to his shite version of himself. Not a game to be doing this, but after the way he played against Spuds then we will let him off. Just hope he doesn’t keep making a habit of it.
‘Fucking horse head. De Neigh-a.’ Hahahahahahahhhhhaaaaaa
The unvarnished word—-and so much in this world is nothing but varnish with more varnish on top. Loving the reversal of fortune of these last effin 30 years. Finally letting go of the pain of Gerrard’s slip. The view from up on our perch is mighty fine.
Firmino is still the straw that stirs the drink. Is there anyone else in the world that plays the 9 and 10 as well as him? MOTM – Gomez. Dude was a rock. Hope Eng. Boss was paying attention.
Personally I hope Gomez does not get selected by Ingerlund. Why do we need our players playing in yet more games. We need them fit and ready for us, screw Ingerlund.
Robbo was poor in terms of giving the ball away loads and taking the wrong option imo
Jonno, do you think Ole is now pining for the Fjords?
https://www.teepublic.com/hoodie/2379778-dead-parrot-pining-for-the-fjords
Disagree on Ox. He is just an OK player, shite defensively. Not very good at reading the game either. Glad Fabinho is back. We can return to Fab-Gini-Henso. Just in time for Atleti.
Ox has a long way to go to take the next step in his development but it’s doubtful he will reach a new level.
Is such crude language really necessary on this site?
Other than that contents and comments great but may be time to unsubscribe.
I admire your resoluteness in the face of crudity. With the leaders of England and the US being who they are, and Liverpool being as boss as they are, I can’t imagine being able to express the state of things without proper expletives.
Yes
Utd players may be hopeless but they’ve got some cool names like Lindeloflace and One Bigsakashit.
We absolutely smashed them, we win 2-0 we go 16 points clear and there I stood on Sunday night, feeling a bit disappointed we didn’t gave them a propper 5-0, 6-1 beating… What a team!!!
This is the first time I’ve read these ratings and been left thinking it was a total waste of time.