Alisson: 8
I reckon I’m giving him a couple of points for not sitting down first half. Like, lashing his boots off, spreading a blanket out and maybe eating some cheese and crackers. Made a good save second half which frankly he should have been lying down for, possibly cutting his toe nails.
Trent: 9
Tremendous today. Did he set up four goals? I’m saying he set up four goals. At least. The ball for Mo’s in the first half is fabulous. Defended well.
Virgil: 8
That Twitter video of the three players against the million kids; that’s Virgil today. Absolute the easiest thing he’s ever done. Was a little unfair.
Degsi: 7
Been in the Tanerife there, hasn’t he? Absolutely bronzied. Did well when The Reds were a bit mad first half. I could have played there second half, in me work gear.
Robbo: 8
Was boss today, wasn’t he? Great ball for Mo’s goal, didn’t stop all day.
Naby: 8
How long was gone? Ten seconds? Finish and a half to end the contest. Front foot all game, pinching the ball here there and everywhere, getting The Reds playing. Gone from someone who wasn’t getting his game at all to close to being the first fella you want to break a side down.
Gini: 7
When The Reds were switching off Gini filled in the gaps. Nothing spectacular, nothing to write home about, everything to tell your mates about, mind you.
Henderson: 8
The Reds were shite first half, I’m saying. Winning 3-0 and probably the worst we have been for months. Henderson was trying to get them playing, moving, was doing his job. Lashed a belter ball in for Sadio’s second.
Mo Salah: 9
Ran them ragged. Scored a belter, scored a tap in. Could have scored more, but looks like he is on the cusp of scoring a million. Toying with these cunts.
Dan Sturridge: 5
There was a beef Monster Munch packet floating around the pitch that almost certainly had a stronger heat map than Dan Sturridge. Didn’t touch the ball, because it’s a crisp packet, but had a higher expected goals ratio of 0.01.
Shite. Maybe shouldn’t play for The Reds anymore. Must be incredible in training.
Sadio: 9
Somehow behind Mo in the battle of these two glorious African kings for leading scorer and probably Liverpool’s player of the year. Our best player for fucking ages, two belter headers plus a third against the post. Sublime. Can’t be crossed, doubted or queried.
SUBS
Shaq:
Belter little reverse fella that one, weren’t it?
Oxo:
Just lovely to see him.
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An extra point for Virg sitting up like the Undertaker when we though he may have been injured. Forget that “operation Anfield” lark – we needed a big dong for that.
Pissing myself laughing at the Beef Monster Munch analogy.
Have to ask… Was that a dead pigeon in their goal area. If it was then it showed more life and better positioning than Sturridge.
Listening to Gerry Cinnamon while writing this?
“There was a beef Monster Munch packet floating around the pitch that almost certainly had a stronger heat map than Dan Sturridge.”
Genius !! And why we all the Anfield Wrap.
Up the F’in Reds !!
Love the monster munch xg, but feel everyone is being way too harsh on sturridge, he wasn’t great but he was alright. He made some good runs making space for Mane/Salah, he could’ve been played in by keita but made room for the shot, he was unlucky not to score from a very good finish from a fractionally offside position as well as being unlucky the ball spun towards mane, from the chip over the top which Mane (rightly) shot instead. We all know he hasn’t got the legs, he held on to the ball too long on a couple of occasions which needed to be played first time – that is likely partly down to a lack of game time recently. I loved that on several of the goals he was following in the backpost in case the goalie made a save.
I think he’s being harshly compared to bobby who you might all be aware – is the best in the world.
Harsh on Sturridge. Sad to say his time at LFC is done. But one lovely 50 yard switch and unlucky not to score.
Harsh on Sturridge. I thought he did OK for a bloke whose legs have gone, hasn’t played for ages and was facing a determined defence of big bastards. He is probably finished at Liverpool but he did try and that’s fine with me.
Loved Daniel but was painfully obvious last night he isn’t on the same level as the rest. His inability/reluctance to release the ball , give the early pass is so at odds with what all his teammates doing. Still would have loved his goal to have been given and see the wriggly arms one more time .
Harsh on Sturridge, if you somehow missed everyone saying it. Also harsh on Gomez, who didn’t do much, but is it fair to say he was non-existent?
Me, I’m made up that all of our subs were people that completely dropped off the radar from injury all look like they are going to do the business next season.
Speckled Jim, innocently running a routine errand for his owner, Walton ghost dog, was was instantly killed by the ball from Hendo’s shot as he flew over the stadium. Landed in the six yard area in front of the Kop. Is survived by his pidgeon wife and 3 eggs.