I DON’T know about you but I need this fucking season to hurry up and end.
I’m like fourth season Bubs at this point. A ghost of a man. Hollowed out. Somehow, this morning I agreed to buy my bird a caravan if The Reds win the league. A fucking caravan. Like a proper caravan that you pull round like a house. I mean, I didn’t even know my bird wanted a caravan.
The last time we went on holiday in a caravan we fucked it off after two days because it was freezing and we were in a fucking caravan in the middle of fucking Wales. But sound, Caravan tax. I’ll start a Crowdfunder after the last game. Fiver gets you a lend of it for an hour.
Alisson: 8
Another save at a key point. Added 15 points on his fucking own this year. Gone a bit Si Mig with his passing in the last few weeks but so the frigging hell what.
Trent: 8
Asked a load of questions by them but was great, with and without it. Full of balls, and battle, and guile, and quality, and everything else you could ever want in a player.
Big Joel: 8
Fantastic today. Front foot, lashing people that needed lashing. Looked like a proper player today. The best defender on the pitch. Mad that. Still passes it like a weirdo, mind you.
Virgil: 8
Second best defender on the pitch which has probably happened about three times in his life. Liked him a lot.
Robbo: 7
Was mad today. Defended really well first half but when The Reds went 2-0 up he went all Albie Moreno and thought he was a fucking Jack Russell on the beach, underlapping and overlapping like fuck.
Henderson Henderson Henderson: 8
Tremendous again. The amount of times he arrived in the box, la. For the Mo Salah chance first half, it’s Henderson up for the challenge. Tremendous for the first. I’m screaming at him to lash it across the face but he’s all “I’m the best centre mid in Europe, I’ll just hang it up for Sadio to score, aye”. Does the internet still think he is shite?
Fabinho: 8
I think I might love him. That natural instinct to kick people and win the ball, mate. Lovely. The tackle on Hazard first half, leaving a little bit on him, glorious. Frees the reds up to play, frees the lads up next to him to leg it.
Naby: 8
Great on the ball first half, wasn’t he? It was like watching YouTube from two years ago. Front foot, won the ball time and again first half. Got a bit excited second half when Robbo was berserk. Needs to learn to do some horrible work without the ball, but looks a player.
Mo Salah: 9
I mean he fucking hit that, didn’t he? He hit it, it stayed hit, would probably still be travelling now if it hadn’t been stopped by the net. It’s boss when racists have to cop for one right in the fucking eye, isn’t it? Stick that up your horrible arses you Farage-loving, butter-faced twats. Looks like he has realised that he is boss again.
Firmino: 9
Tremendous. Properly tremendous. Like a Rabbit out of a hat keeping the ball surrounded by baddies. Frightened the life out of them whenever he got it. A glorious glinting-mouthed colossus.
Sadio: 8
Great goal. That one was stood up for an hour and a bit. Easy to miss. Had his lad marking him on toast all day long.
SUBS
Gini and Milner:
Massive dose of sensible. Boss set of subs.
Well in, big men.
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Yes, 3 good games have not convinced me. Henderson is weak link and must play well in all games to be as good as all adulation he receives. Poor player, limited ball control.
I think he needs to stay with us but make Virgil captain, take that bit of spotlight or pressure off, and he can play more like he has done the last few
Obsessed and weird. Oh.. and clueless.
Weak link ? Ridiculous comment. He didn’t do a bad job as a 6 but now hes up the pitch more he looks far more comfy in his role. Happens to live and breathe the club his celebration today when mane scored showed hiw much it means to him. Made up for him
Words fail me.
Evidently the internet still think he’s shite. John Stefan will be one of those on here moaning about Henderson’s trophy lifting game. Ridiculous.
If Hendo is the weak link then fuck me, what a fucking heavy, unbreakable, bastard adamantium chain of a team we have.
He isn’t by the way, but we still do. Un-fuckin-breakable !!
You’re just hater bro. if three boss and I mean boss games, don’t convince then nothing will. Kid deserves a lot of credit for doing a dirty job he didn’t sign up for now hes playing his game again and it’s an absolute bloody joy to witness long live captain hendo
How anyone could criticize a player after today’s game is ridiculous. Some sad bastards out there. Well done Hendo lad, just well done.
Ah no, respectfully disagree, has been flayed on the terraces and on the interweb. One of the moments of the season today, the ovation as he walked off. A real Liverpool player.
You’re opinion is rendered invalid by virtue of the fact you don’t know what you’re talking about.
We’ll never qualify for the Champions League with Henderson in the squad, let alone captain.
Oh, wait…we were in the fucking final last season and now we are on 85 points now – something that only 4 sides in the illustrious history of Liverpool Football Club have ever done. Did I mention that we have FOUR matches yet to play?
Did I mention we have one foot in the Champions League semi-final, too?
I’m guessing you know more about netball than football
“Here’s to you Jordan Henderson, google loves you more than you will know”
Oh dear
John Stefan is a blue
Stefan must be smoking that substance they used at the Emirates when they tried to sign Suarez.
Boo boys have got to be fed as well i suppose.
It’s simple the people who moan about Henderson do not understand what it takes to make a football team. It requires discipline and for players to understand and perform their role.This is what Henderson does whatever role he is asked to play. End of.
Ben, your ratings are always the best of the lot. And this set is maybe top five of all time. You wrapped up the world with this lot. Dealt with racists, mysterious hidden caravan desires and the spectacular and rare chemistry that occurred on the field today. I’m giving you a 9 today for your ratings, rantings and writings. Thanks.
“A glorious glinting-mouthed colossus.” Class.
4th Season Bubs made me laugh. :D
well done.like it
well said,and funny
Make sure that caravan gets well used… like for every away game. (From Paris down to Turkey…)
Just needs a grossly under powered car to tow the thing as well and have a massive banner hanging off the back saying REDS ON TOUR, as he holds up about 40 miles of traffic. That would be well boss.
i had to google english for ‘my bird’. i was so confused why ben johnson is promising things to his bird for a minute… @theanfieldwrap can we have videos of ben johnson teaching us scouse please!!!
This may help you https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mac6Cqset5E