GO ‘ed, the boys. That was perfect, that.
Alisson: 7
Made saves when he needed to. First minute fella was good. His starting position is perfect, all of the time.
Milner: 8
Busy as a pip. They are busy, them little pricks. Did he cross it for the first or have I made that up? Yer, he did. Is right, lad.
Big Joel: 7
Scruffy fucker, isn’t he? I mean, everything he does is by the skin of his teeth. Reckon he is a hoarder. House is fucking jam packed. Got abar £600 nicker worth of newspapers as a table in the kitchen. Bath is full of boots. Big fucking massive white fucking boots.
Virgil: 8
Legged it on the break there to try and score, and Bobby just jibbed him instead. What more do you want, though? Perfect at the other end pretty much.
Robbo: 8
Back to his best pretty much after a couple of weeks off, there. Looks like he might have shipped the baby to his mother in laws last night, got a chippy, lashed on Billions and got his head down for a solid eight-hour fella. Back at it.
Gini: 9
The opposite of big Joelly there, isn’t he? The neatest and tidiest of them all. Fucking hoovers up on the way out the house. Kim and Aggie, lad. Send him round to Joel’s with a bucket of Domestos and a brush. Sparkling in about 10 minutes. What a finish for the goal. It was in from the minute he thought about it.
Fabinho: 8
He’s boss, isn’t he? Absolutely fucking booted that little fucker who made a show of us off the bench in the 4-3 first minute and set the tempo thereafter.
Keita: 8
The ball to Firmino for Salah’s goal is sublime. To the extent that Bobby should hit it. For all the world he should hit it. Kept it, moved it, was pretty much everything you want from a midfielder, there. Needs a little bit of luck for a goal to go in.
Mo: 9
Untouchable today. Everywhere. What a finish. Unlucky for the one against the bar, the volley in the first, the fucking state of the referee. One of the best to play for The Reds.
Firmino: 8
Back to his proper role upfront and I’m saying that layoff for the third might be the best thing I have ever seen. I mean, he had no fucking right to do that. The ball from Naby needs hitting. How can you have the state of mind to know your goal hungry mate is on your shoulder there ready to slot? Scandalous.
Mane: 9
The go-to fella at the minute, isn’t he? You need something here, lad? I’m your man. The fixer. Absolute balls on him. He’s in the war room for this league, isn’t he?
SUBS
Trent:
Needs a song. I reckon the Maxi one works with a massive Trent to kick it off. Might need to fuck one of his names off to get a proper song.
The Rest:
Go ‘ed.
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There’s no fighting in the War Room!!
A revamp of Rafa-Rafael song has been stuck in my head for far too long…
Super
Super Trent
Super
Super Trent
Super
Super-Trent
Trent Alexander-Arnold
Get the ball to Bobby and he’ll backheel it to Mo
Shit that mate. Don’t ever sing that!
Boss ratings again, funny and accurate!
Someone on Twitter (I can’t remember who) suggested this song. I like it. To the tune of “Skip to my loo”:
His name’s too long fit in a song
His name’s too long fit in a song
His name’s too long fit in a song
Trent Alexander-Arnold
Arnold is fine by me!
Today shows how important Gini is. So glad he’s back. And Sadio, the last few weeks he has been massive. Ive previously questioned his decision making or final ball or something. Just now he has stood tall when others around him have not been at their best. Imperious. Perhaps the best we have.
Milner needs a song also. I hate not having an original idea but hey Jude works and will piss off city
Wise up
One we’ve been singing in my local for over a year now, and is quite popular is:
Our Jimmy Milner
He drinks Ribena
He came for City to Liverpool
He’s always grafting
He’s our vice-captain
Oh please don’t take Our Milly away
I know this doesn’t work as a chant but i like it anyways, to the tune of Pet Shop Boys’ Rent:
Liverpool hopes
Liverpool dreams
No currency we spent
I love you
You play my Trent
normal service resumed
Our right back….
It’s Trent Alexander Arnold
To Artful Dodger’s “Rewind”.
Awaits the backlash:
(to the tune of “Got to get you into my life” Beatles):
We had Milly and he was fine; but he didnt really play therrrrreeee
We tried Clyne, we gave him time and he did okay therrrrrrrreeee
Ooooooh, then we suddenly see you
Ooooooh, did we tell you we need you
Every single day of our lives………..
Oh TRENT ALEXANDER ARNOLD
And while it’s in my head
(To the tune of “I want to break free” Queen)
We love our Milly
We love our Milly
He drinks Ribena and tea and there’s nothing that he’d rather beeeeee
Than boring Milly
But God knows
God knows we love our Milly