WE could have played till the fucking cows — those famous, wondering cows who fucked off years ago and have been having the time of their lives, eating grass and fucking lying down — come home.
Sometimes things don’t fall for you, sometimes things don’t go your way, but fucking hell that was pretty shite. It’s just one game though isn’t it, except it’s two defeats out of two away in the Champions League against a decent side and a fucking Championship-standard one, and in the broadest of broad strokes that’s a worry.
Our inability to pass the ball to our own players is a worry. Our lack of any control in midfield whatsoever is a worry. Our ability to nullify our own most dangerous players is a worry. It’s a bit of a worry.
Or alternatively, it just makes the last few games more interesting. Lets wait and see, eh?
Alisson: 6
Had nothing to do apart from watch the first one in and watch the second one fly past him. Could he have done more with their second? Probably, I reckon. He didn’t half fucking belt it like, but still.
Trent: 5
Silly backheel first half that went out for a goalkick lost him a point. Might have given it away every time he had it which isn’t ideal, in fairness. Seems counter intuitive to take him off when we are getting beat but then in fairness he was pretty shite, so you know.
Joel Matip: 6
Made a couple of good interceptions there in the first few minutes, especially the one where Rory Delap popped up with a Serbian wig on and launched it over the Black Sea. How’s he missing that header though, lad?
Virgil: 6
Shite header in the passage that led to them scoring. Couldn’t do much about either goal, in fairness.
Andy Robbo: 7
Par, probably the only one who was.
James Milner: 5
Gives it way in the buildup to the second. That said, their fella is 50 yards out when that happens. Done what Gini should have done when Sturridge gave it away at 2-0. Worked hard but part of a midfield three that offered not a great deal aside from the ball to the other team.
Gini: 5
Weak as a kitten in the first half an hour and frankly shite for their second. Gets rolled to easy, wrong side too easy, gives up too easily. If a fella with the ball is attacking your centre halves and you have the opportunity to fucking boot him, fucking boot him and we will talk about your options later. Part of a midfield three that offers not a great deal aside from an easy passage to our centre halves.
Adam Lallana: 5
Was just looking for him, as in literally looking to see if he was there when he won the ball back twice in a minute and set up Mane for the big Sturridge chance. Shite for the goal, wasn’t he? Isn’t it his job to block the first runner? Fucking hell, he was like them ribbons your nan used to have hanging from the back-door frame. What the fuck were they about?
Unlucky with the header that their lad knew nothing about. Tried to get in the half spaces all second half but with no joy whatsoever. Part of a midfield three that offered not a great deal all fucking night long. Is it their fault or are they just a manifestation of the team’s wider struggles?
Mo Salah: 6
Kicked a corner straight out second half and I nearly blew my neck up trying not to scream in the house. Like trying to contain a sneeze. Lost the ability to pass to anyone but that effort against the post was unlucky there, you know. Needs some help.
Sadio Mane: 6
Does brilliant down the left a few times to open them up, particularly for the Sturridge chance. Got moved to the right second half and was nowhere near as effective. Worked back well, though. That said, all of our players, when trying to play the ball forward seem to think that the laws of physics don’t apply.
Yer, yer, I’ll just pass this through this obstacle, what do you call it, this human body. Fairly sure it will just appear on the other side of it exactly where I want it, like walking through a fucking waterfall. No, no, you see Isaac Newton’s three laws of physics, yer, means I can pass it through this physical object with sufficient force that it will just ghost right through him. Something to do with the third rule, lad. Lad, anyway, fucking shut up. Who the fuck do you think I am, anyway? Fucking Brian Cox, the D:Ream twat. Things didn’t get better, did they lad? They got well fucking worse.
Dan Sturridge: 5
Missed an absolute sitter after 15 and then showed great movement to get in and ludicrous decision making not to pull it back to Lallana on the edge of the box. Then again, 10 minutes later, brilliant technique, and fucking shite decision making to ignore Trent and shank a shot on his weaker foot. Daft and then dragged. Missed him second half mind you, especially when you are bringing on Divock Origi with 10 to go.
SUBS
Joe Gomez:
Did alright
Firmino: 5
Did great for about five minutes and then they got to grips with our shape and then he played centre mid which was a massive waste of everyone’s time.
Divock: 5
Did great to beat his man and then let it go out, like Mignolet’s Braveheart “hold” effort at Burnley.
NON SUBS
Degsi:
Honest to God, needs some fucking antibac gel. Like in the hospital.
He who shall not be named: 9
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Strangely cathartic reading this!
Lol at he who shall not be named
Been telling that John all season about our trying to pass a ball through a man. Does he listen? Nah.
It seems a bit mad to talk about any individual tonight, when pretty much everyone was fucking last, but the talk of the Daniel Sturridge “renaissance” (TAW pushing this a lot) has done my head in this season. Thanks for the memories and brilliant goal vs Chelsea to be fair, but otherwise he looks about the same as the typical post-2014 Sturridge to me. No pace, offers fuck all when we don’t have the ball, and overrated as an “I’ll just drop back into midfield and slowly spray a ball out wide, it’s piss easy” playmaker-type. The reason you’d have Daniel in the team is basically for his finishing and he made a bollocks of that more than once tonight, much like he did in Moscow last season. Time to bin him an Origi and get real backup to Firmino (who’s now apparently a midfielder or wide left in every fucking game – might be one of our biggest, strangest issues).
Totally agree. You can always tell that certain members of TAW speak to Sturridge. The lack of objectivity in assessing what he actually offers (not what they hope he can still offer) is a little bit embarrassing.
You mean like a goal every 90 minutes and the same amount of goals as our star striker Roberto Firmino what he offers?
Pretty poor showing all round last night.Our midfield really lacks a creative attacking player. Our bid to sign Fekir shows that Klopp is aware of this this but it appears we did not have an alternative option. Could prove costly this season.
Lallana,Studge,Milner , Matip are all good squad options ………just not all at the same time. We score 4 and start to look fluid in a 4-2-3-1 why does JK revert back to 4-3-3
My sentiments exactly…
In fact lets just not play Lallana ever again… EVER!
Comments on Gini’s performance are boss – it’s strange why Klopp keeps Fabinho benched while expecting an onslaught from Red Star. I’m commenting by hindsight but a tough away match requires defensive solidity. Gini isn’t such a guarantee at the best of times.
We stank. We absolutely stank the place out. This was shite. However what do you expect when bringing Matip back and Lallana in a tough European fixture to a team who have gone 15 previous fixtures at home in Europe without a defeat and our last 3 away from Anfield in Europe have all been losses.
We weren’t up for this. We lacked fight. We lacked desire. We lacked ideas, shape and discipline. In fact we lacked an entire fucking midfield for the 2nd game in a row and for the 2nd game in a row we lacked a fucking playmaker.
Fulham next. If I was there owner I’d make an appeal that we have to play this on European soil for some bizarre bollocks, as you never know, we are that generous with shit of late that we will probably agree to it.
Can someone tell me why we bother with Lallana anymore? What has become patently obvious since his recent string of injuries is that it gave the midfield an opportunity to evolve. Henderson: reborn. Wijnaldum: revealed as a potent attacking and defensive asset. Milner: refreshed, like an absolute winner from dominant Premier League squads of old. Only Lallana still remains in the primordial swamp and in fact, submerges himself more and more each match. With every minute of work, he takes a deep breath of life giving air and battles against himself, forcing his head further and further under the currents. Tonight, he wasn’t just bad, he put in a performance with the complexity of an amoeba.
For every step forward on the pitch we came closer to the inevitability that he would turn around, take 2 steps backwards and pass square across the back 4 or the midfield 0 (which is what it seemed at times). It may be harsh, but that performance was Downing-esque.
Can we also please acknowledge those 2 flying headers? I know one of them went close from 15 yards, but please; they’re literally the lowest-percentage chance you can possibly take. They are the antipathy of Klopp; the antipathy of heavy metal and belong to the primeval “let’s just have a crack from anywhere” depths of the Championship.
I saw Lallana give the ball away a fair bit and give away a lot of free kicks and get himself another yellow card.
Since I have seen the stats. Fuck me are they awful. 63% success rate with passing and not one tackle made. In fact according to the stats the entire midfield didn’t make one tackle all game. This after Fabinho did 9 on his own in the 1st game against Red Star.
Talking of stats. It is now just 3 wins in the last 9 games and just 1 of those away from home. Those 3 came against Cardiff, Huddersfield and Red Star at Anfield.
We are flattering to deceive and finally got found wanting.
Also our support cast is not as good as we hoped. The depth is sadly lacking. As is the ability to play as a team, especially our forward line, who seem desperate to shoot from anywhere and try stupid things.
However back to Lallana, I truly hope we stop persisting with him as he is a player we marched forward without and never missed. Now he’s back and so is the footy we had under Rodgers before he was sacked.
Anyone know whether non-subscribers can comment on the free podcasts?
We used to be all too. Cheers