SUN is out, bank holiday weekend = BBQ in our house.
Not in the house, that would be wild, carbon monoxide alarms going off all over the gaff, trying to watch the game through a fog of smoke, like frigging Beijing or something, with one of them masks on.
To be honest, this kick-off time has killed me, I’ve committed to cooking, and have got a squad expecting food at 5.30pm. I haven’t got a telly in our garden so if these ratings are a bit — you know — patchier than usual, then you know why.
Jesus Christ, every time you play these you forget how shite their fans are. Less than two minutes in and they are singing a song about a man falling over that meant nothing to them. Gang of mings who laugh at videos on the internet of horses dancing and that.
Eh, frigging hell, John Henry fancies it today. He’s aged about 60 years since the last time he showed his grid, mind you. Must have had a tough few years counting them beans, lad. Must be after a ticket for Kiev.
Full Time
From the minute they scored it looked like being one of them. These give you no space. The goal killed it. The rest was just an exercise in getting pissed off. Burnt me tea for this shite.
Karius: 7
Made a belter save there second half from Eden Hazard. Dead easy for that to fly in as Hazard was doing his best to do him with the eyes there. Probably as good a save as he has made for us that.
Clyne: 6
Did alright. Consistently alright. Like a pre-formed burger. You know exactly what you are getting, mate. It’s always alright.
Degsy: 6
Unlucky for the first as he has got two men, but he’s surely got to talk to Virg to let him know. Not much else to do.
Big Virg: 6
Landed awkwardly halfway through the first half, I nearly fainted. Injury watch; worse than 999 with Michael Burke, this. Bit of no man’s land for the first but it was a bit of a one of them.
Andy Robbo: 6
Did alright. Looked a bit tired. Probably reasonably so.
Milner: 6
Absolutely booted their best player right up in the air in the first few minutes there and didn’t even get booked. Is right lad, you will do for me. Struggled after that though, in fairness. These give you nothing to chase, not a sausage.
Gini: 6
Chewed it first half when it needed releasing quickly. You can’t let these settle into their shape. Hazard legged him a few times when he was our deepest midfielder and when he wasn’t he didn’t do anything of note. People who think Jordan Henderson is shite don’t half make the mind boggle y’know. When every other fucker who plays in his position is pretty much shite at the job they are being asked to do. Maybe it’s just a dead hard position to play, aye?
Trent: 5
Changed positions all day long to let Clyne get forward but lost the ball a few times and knocked right off when Cesc Fabregas got in. Not used to playing centre mid at this level, in fairness. Little bit sloppy in possession. That cross in the last minute summed his day up, la.
Sadio: 7
Picking bits up in the number 10 position really well first half. Unlucky with the left-peg half volley and a couple of other efforts first half. Didn’t kick it much after that but still offered more than anyone else, really.
Firmino: 6
Some good link-up play as per early first half. Played a lovely through ball for Mo Salah first half that should have led to more than it did. Got strangled out of it as the half wore on.
Mo Salah: 5
Did a boss dive there, didn’t he?
SUBS
Solanke
Dead keen. Can’t get away from the fact he is learning his trade upfront for us as our first attacking change. Unfortunately, he is nowhere near the standard of the other lads yet and it doesn’t half show. We need someone to be coming on and taking some of these chances that he is missing. He might never score, you know. Like, ever.
Henderson
Desperate for someone to fill in for him when he doesn’t play. Made a difference when he came on and tried to get us playing.
Moreno
FFS…
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Generous.
Haha, would echo the ‘generous’ shout, but I’d say it was a boss BBQ.
Apart from the obvious answer that we have NO FUCKING PLAYERS, I’m not really sure how Milner plays nearly 90 there. He’s already running on fumes, got a knock early on, and spent the other 60 minutes giving it away and unable to break out of a jog. I love the guy, but he was well and truly fucked.
Salah and Firmino also looked utterly empty as well. Salah’s touch was woeful and Firmino just couldn’t get near it second half. The lads are heroes and I love them, but I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a team collapsing over the line quite like this.
A week off will help. Praying for no injuries.
Made up we can pip them on the last day. Sweet.
Or let them finish fourth, then we win Ol big ears and watch them drop to the Thursday night club. (Please note not my preferred option but would be a rib tickler)
They wouldn’t drop out of it. Just like when we didn’t when Man U won the Europa last season.
Oh yeah I was banking on Arsenal winning the Europa also! That put the dampners on my evil scheme
I remember the days when we used to win in the league, they were great times, better times, maybe more innocent times…
It’s interesting how on podcasts Neil and some have said how Klopp has just about gotten away with not buying anyone with the Coutinho money. That might of been premature. Once again, we are absolutely limping to the finish line.
We’re bringing on Solanke when we need a goal whereas they bring on Willian when they don’t need a goal.
First stop when I’m reading up on a match is these ratings. Lovely stuff, Ben.
Clyne is like a pre-formed burger… great line. He most certainly is, will always be ok and never let you down but to continue on with the culinary comparisons he’ll never quite get the juices flowing either.
Put some sunscreen on your head, the heat is melting your brain.
Blaming Virgil for Lovren not picking up his man for their goal and giving them the same mark??
What difference did Henderson make?? He was shite, as he’s been for a bunch of games in a row now.
For a start he knocked in a few great crosses, I thought he did ok actually.
It was indeed one of “those”. It’s not that we were bad it’s just we were lacking that 5-10% which you will need against what is an excellent bus-parking outfit, managed by an Italian. Nothing in the tank. I really hope that changes over the next couple of games.
You don’t actually understand football, do you?
We needed to score first because they have all put in everything against Citeh and Roma over the past month and we have nothing left. Chelsea away is Coutinho – Lallana type game. A week of rest and they should beat Brighton, they deserve to.
out of gas,need a service,oil,and petrol.we will be ok
Exactly as always Ben pal! YNWA
I wander if there is a ban on sex, at least, releasing their seed, like Raging Bull, ‘no fooling around’,this is important, as the players are spent, no just eve of game, but build up some Qi, ready for Kiev, may be a long slog, before lift number 6.