FUCKING Stoke.
I’m going home for a cup of tea in a glass. Going to smash the living daylights out of all of me bowls, cups, plates and anything that looks like they might make it in Stoke. Single-use plastic lad, that’s where it’s at. Use it once, lash it in the sea.
Karius: 7
Did he have anything to do? Passed it to there lad first half for something to do.
Joe Gomez: 5
Struggled like nothing on earth. Looked like he had never kicked a ball in his life which was a shame. Liked the crowd reaction of basically screaming at him. That almost certainly settled his nerves. It would me.
Big Virg: 7
Only fella I have ever seen make Crouchy not look enormous. Played well.
Rag Klav: 6
Feel sorry for him because whenever he gets a game he ends up playing next to Moreno. Did alright, but our left side is so much worse with Albie and him as opposed to Degsi and Robbo. Could be all Moreno based but suck it up, Rags lad.
Moreno: 6
I thought he actually did alright for him. That one first half where he got the wrong side of his man and didn’t give a pen away; the equivalent of dangling a sausage under a dog’s nose, absolutely desperate to gobble it up. That said, that backheel overhead flick thing he did last minute = me strangling him with a string of sausages the next time I bump into him.
Henderson: 7
For someone who everyone thinks is shite I’ve never seen a ground go so quiet when someone got hurt for a long time. Did well to carry on, needs to go and see that fella Michael Owen used to go and see who allegedly injected horse placenta blood into his leg.
Gini: 7
He’s almost brilliant every week. Looks like if someone could sit him down and tell him exactly what centre mid he was he would be brilliant.
Trent: 8
Thought he was boss there. Played right mid, centre mid and right wing back. Unlucky with the chance. Took off to save his legs, but it killed us a bit.
Mo Salah: 7
Missed that chance. Think he is now addicted to dinks. I played with a lad, Degsi, who was addicted to dinks. Scored 25 one year, 22 of them where dinks. If he couldn’t sink it over the ‘keeper he would rather not score.
Danny Ings: 6
Ran round loads. Get sorry for him playing left wing because he isn’t one but it’s hard not to think that the drop off in quality is too much.
Firmino: 7
Ran at half pace. Like a horse overweighted. Can’t blame him. I couldn’t be arsed playing against them carthorses either.
SUBS
Milner: 8
Boss when he come on.
Clyne: N/A
Bet you he was made up coming on right wing and being tasked with getting us a goal. Have you ever seen me play?
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“Use it once, lash it in the sea.”
Tea through the nose moment. Serves me right for using yer classic pottery mug. Whatever the result, your ratings are stellar.
Gomes has all the makings of a decent football player. Once he learns how to pass he will be great.
Not having 8 for trent
Looked like a lad who’d never played midfield in the prem (which he hasnt)
My daughter calls him Lorkus Markus. You can have that.
Never want Gomez at RB ever again. He’s not a full back and genuinely don’t know how he’s starting ahead of Clyne.
Henderson was shite. Utter shite.
Henderson was great midweek, today against a very average side, too 1 dimensional to be true offering/providing no quality into the box/any threat on goal. Also no good playing 3 at the back and 2 wing backs, we were down 2 attacking players especially as Wijnaldum can never sniff out a goal opportunity for himself. His shot which ricocheted into Ings’s path for the ruledout goal was destined for the corner flag Ffs!!
For those saying Henderson was rubbish, have a look who played the inch perfect long diagonal ball to Salah for the sitter he missed. Also, the Ings goal that was disallowed for being slightly offside would’ve been fantastic had it stood considering the tightness of the angle he scored it from.
They are the most generous scores ever. Be honest Liverpool were very very average today. Vvd was our vest player and helped nullify the aerial threat of stoke when it appeared from time to time. Everybody else seemed to be subconsciously focused on Roma. Vvd 7 everybody else 5.5
Van Djke7, the rest 5 0r 6
Not sure about the ratings this week Jonno but 10/10 for your comments about Stoke, cracked me up lad ! Glass cups hahaha
I hope the fuckers (Stoke) get relegated. That was a disgrace yesterday. Can you imagine any of the other teams remaining in the CL had to endure playing against ale house tactics more suited to a rugby pitch? No you can’t cause it would fucking happen. In the other leagues Stoke would have seen most of their players carded and been reduced in numbers and properly penalised.
Hope what sinks Stoke is the same shit done back to them and then they can spend eternity in the lower leagues with teams happy to share this brand of crap.
As for the officials, they are a fucking joke. Best league in the World, we are kidding ourselves when we have shite officials letting this bollocks occur week in week out.
I think you were a bit generous on a lot of our players this week, Ben, to be honest…