LAD. Getting here was like Whacky Races. Whacky Races with additional chat.
We went through Wales. We went through England. We ended up in the heart of this weird little country, parked on a motorway, literally started to run down the motorway, ran back to the car, parked further up the motorway on a bridge, and then ran the ground, which is defo in the middle of nowhere. I mean, to the extent that if you want a bevy before the game you have to go to DFS, for something like a timeshare interview, and take the chances that you don’t sign up to a three piecer while you test out their couches and have a half a free Carling.
Anyway, we burst through the turnstiles at 7.55pm, get to our seats, and have the maddest restricted view ever. I mean, the crossbar was probably blocking 40 per cent of the pitch out, somehow. I know. So bear this in mind when you read the following:
Simon Mignolet: 7
I don’t know, I was 10 yards away from him and didn’t realise he was captain again until halfway through the first half. Did nothing aside from volley their lad on the edge of the box which was either absolutely shite or the greatest foul anyone ever committed. If this fucker carries on winning every game he captains he will end up with a statue outside the ground.
Joe Gomez: 7
Defended well. Could have done anything there second half at the back as I couldn’t see anything. Did he have his shorts on?
Alberto Moreno: 7
A seven made up of loads of eight and nines and loads of four and fives. Great tackle first half, followed up by knocking off for five minutes causing The Reds to go a bit mad for 10 minutes. He is what he is.
Joel Matip: 8
Thought he was boss, aggressive in the tackle, positioning great. Is right, lad.
Dejan Lovren: 7
See above but loses a point for Tottenham Hotspur away.
Gini Wijnaldum: Probably a 7
Couldn’t see the middle of the pitch but when he wasn’t in there he did alright. What more do you want?
Emre Can: Probably a 7
See above but he is a bit taller than Gini so probably a bit more confident that I actually seen a bit of him.
Alex Oxlade-Chambo: 7
Chambo, he did alright. Might get it on a T shirt.
Dom Solanke: 7
Bright as button, on a coat you need to grow into. Tried to do the ‘keeper with the eyes first half but ended up getting it wrong and signposting it for him.
Sadio Mane: 9
Probably better than John Barnes. Probably as good as Ronaldo. Any Ronaldo. Name me a Ronaldo, he is probably as good as him. Great goal, I think, unlucky with the one against the post, then absolutely sends Dan Fletcher to the Co-op for Mo Salah’s first. Sublime. Boss cynical yellow as well. Should be captain.
Roberto Firmino
Didn’t nick Mane’s goal. Couldn’t see him the rest of the night. You tell me.
SUBS
Mo Salah: 10
He is probably going to score more goals than Ian Rush did ever in this season alone. Probably the best finisher we have had since Fernando Torres. Probably the best two goals I have ever celebrated. Talk of the restricted view is forgotten when Mane hangs that one up 10 yards from where we were sat, Salah pops up back stick, and absolutely lashes it. If the net hadn’t been there it would have took my head off. Best ever.
James Milner
Come on and forgot how to use his legs for a bit. Well in.
Did anyone else come on? I can’t remember the last 10. It was a blur of Mo Mo and Mane songs.
Get in Redmen.
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Like the Lovern rating.
Same. Enjoyed reading this. Takes me back to the days when Gibbons used to do them.
Good stuff.
no rating for Firmino?? Harsh that.
Forgot Bobby lad! Too busy signing Christmas songs I expect
*singing
ha, great stuff. typical of stoke to give you a shit view, but most stoke fans would probably thankful of that with the shit football Hughes plays.
Emre was utter pants btw. as he has been all season. Can’t wait until we replace him, we don’t have anyone who can play a midfield pair and without lallana the MF is either cack, or flat or both.
Next up brighton, toughest test in this run of games I’d say.
Salah is the greatest man alive. He’s got that thing Torres had, the thing Suarez had and Coutinho sometimes has. The ability to recognise that the majority of teams in this league simply haven’t the ability to stop him doing whatever he wants. It took Suarez a few seasons to realise before he went absolutely mental and scored four goals a game for 10 months. Mo has realised it immediately.
What a joy to have such a player. Mane too. Sublime pair of signings.
Another 3-0, dismissive win. I delight in them.
It’s quite amazing to note success and quality of Klopp “signings” for us:
1. Mane: he was doing fine at Southampton, but Klopp turned him into world class bracket now
2. Salah: seems the whole world doubted him, but he is now genuinely feared by opponents, same category as Mane.
3. Gini: Who would think Gini is deep lying midfielder? But it is working well as a safe option when we need a more stable and reliable player in the middle
4. Matip: like it or not, he is the first choice whenever he’s not injured. And the good news is that he will get much better
5. Firmino, Lallana, Moreno : I know they were BR or committee signings, but Klopp has made them integral part of this team instead of easily shipping them out.
6. Kieta : no doubt he will be a success next season
* Robertson: I am sure his chance will come ( because Moreno can’t possibly play at that pace for 70 games this season)
He really does have quite the success rate. None of us can wait for Keita. I’d give Leipzig another £10m to get him in January but that’s why I’m not a businessman!
Well said. Also a thumps up to Dan for his comment above
Salah. Fucking hell, eh?! I reckon we give him just five minutes against Brighton and watch him score ten.
That’s brilliant. But I would give him 18. Just keep reducing his minutes by 2 and challenge him to get a couple every time until he is putting them in from the bench with Jedi mind tricks.
Lovren comment gave me a laugh.
Hehe.
Great one again. Always enjoy these.
There needs to be a better chant for Salah though. A top class one for a top class player.
Ben Johnson – Probably a 10.. back to his whacky best with this set of ratings…
Hi Ben, love the ratings and comments on Migs. Wish this continues.
Salah was sublime, and yes he deserves a better song now. What a thunderous second goal, like he was meant for it.
Dan above in the comments said it right, he has what some of our legendary strikes had – knowing that he can’t be stopped against a many number of teams in the EPL.
Can needs to leave now. Who else thought he would get a yellow after he lost the ball in their final 3rd? Yeah, I don’t know what his deal is, but he just seems to be making up the numbers more like.
And finally love that Klopp saw the need to sub at 65 for good reason. Maybe he heard us all after all. ;o)
Anyways Stoke sucks! And so do their fans. Emptied the stadium so quickly. And Liverpool fans get shit for this every other match. I was so happy to have the rub of the green finally with teams like these.
No red card for Migs, defense held up, no ricochet stupid silly goals we’ve seen at times, and the nerve of replaying the highlights of Stevie’s last game against them (l-6) like it was some great feat when we all know the real story that unfolded months back.
We will hit them again on the return match at Anfield. I hope by then we have enough players still raring to go like we did tonight.
Great game, really enjoyed that and the ratings here.
Up the Reds!!!
It seems Can’s head is already elsewhere. If that’s the case, Klopp will have to rotate among Hendo, Gini, Millie, Lallana, and Ox for the two central midfield slots for the rest of the season.
Hi Josh, yeah Can’s in deep space 9. He needs to up his game unless he already has a deal made for Jan or Summer. It’s still a long way to go for both the team and Can, and he will need to step up like the other lads are trying and have done so.
I think you are right about the rotation barring injuries. Oh goodness I just wish we weather the injury storm, as out-of-form issues are enough to derail us again come Feb.
Onwards to Brighton!!!
I can’t believe they replayed highlights of that game. Can it get much more small time than that? Pitiful considering since Klopp arrived we have beaten them on every single occasion.
Hi Dan, yeah the idiots played that on the telly half-time. It’s akin to that awful Gerrard song some of these fools keep singing despite him moved on. Just don’t get that either.
Thanks for reminder of the stat. Hah 3-0 to us is what matters in the end. They can continue singing about Gerrard and replaying that game. We will beat them again. :)
The Gerrard song is undoubtedly the most boring football song ever invented. Any time I hear a set of fans signing it it’s difficult to stay awake!
As you say they are welcome to their shitty songs and replays. We’ll take the wins!
Lovren wasn’t even going to play because he’s not fully fit but Klavan’s illness meant he had to. He did a good job. Perhaps we should only play him when he’s not fit.
got stiff neck watching stoke,and am watching on the tv,hahahahhahhaha
These ratings…. Haha. Just love em.
Gini good, Bobby poor tonight: can’t help but feel we all overrate him – a good, functioning cog in the machine, a decent hard working pivot, but we could really, really upgrade.
Could we? I can’t think of many strikers that do what he does in terms of both leading the press and creating space for the fast lads to run in behind – let alone one better.
Nah mate.. Bobby sets solanke up beatifully for his effort. Solanke squanders the chance, cant really blame him for going for it but if thats Bobby he gives it back for a certain goal. Hes involved in Manes post. Most other strikers steal that first goal. Hes an unselfish player and involved in so much the reds do well. He should get a few more goals but all strikers have ups and downs in front of goal… its not like hes missing loads. So many forward players walk round in a constant huff when its not going their way, only really interested if they get a chance to shine. Not bobby, he works constantly to make something work for the team. He will improve. Hes great to watch. Hes fucking class!
@The Truth … I agree
Joe Allen 10
Did a reprise of the goal scoring performances that endeared him to so many Reds, except now he was blazing it wide from promising positions for the opposition. Well in, Joe.
Shaqiri 5
The Alpine Messi vs. the Egyptian Messi. There was only going to be one winner, wasn’t there?
LOL! Joe Allen 10. That’s a classic.
And Shaqira was once linked with LFC. They can keep the Alpine Messi. At one point the commentator called him the Alpine Maradona. LOL!
Btw, you should have rated that other legend, Charlie Adams, as well. :)
Brilliant ratings as ever Ben, always a laugh. Can was shite, mind.