BEAT the shite by five, win the league.
Ratings in the key of life:
Loris Karius: C
Best game in his short Liverpool career. Made a couple of smart stops when Liverpool decided that they didn’t want him to to freeze to death for 10 minutes. One excellent stop one-on-one and couldn’t do much with the goal. Did hack one out of touch, though.
Nathaniel Clyne: C
BA BE BA BO, BA BE BA BO!
Nathaniel Clyne! NATHANIEL CLYNE!
Joel Matip: B
That good that his need for a song is wrecking my head. Give us a few hours, we’re working on it.
Lucas Leiva: C
Slotted in for Dejan Lovren, who had another sick note. Can see why he was preferred to Ragnar Klavan despite the threat of Troy Deeney. Links and releases into the midfield quicker. Loved the beef between him and Henderson at five-nil up.
James Milner: C+
Brilliant in the build-up to the opener. Maybe could have made sure instead of trying to force it for the Watford goal but that’s nit-picking.
Jordan Henderson: B+
He’s not bad, you know. Another captain’s performance from the crab who never passes forwards. Dictated tempo throughout and was picking up the ball IN HIS OWN SIX-YARD BOX with five to go.
Emre Can: B
Built like a tank, turns like one, runs like one, heads like one. Biggest problem is he’s only a kid but looks like he’s 30. Will be the best midfielder in Europe in five years.
Adam Lallana: A-
Splendid stuff from start to finish, though on days like this lads who get pure As need those numbers. But wow – THE player who dictates the tempo of the press.
Sadio Mane: A-
Luis Garcia header for the opener. Broke the seal for the fit-to-burst Reds when it looked like everything was going to hit the ‘keeper or shave the post.
Philippe Coutinho: A
Narrowly missed out on an A+ with his Henderson-esque sky into The Kop.
Need to get his scribble on a new deal sharpish, lads.
Roberto Firmino: A
Bobby fucking dazzler. Shine on, you diamond-toothed bastard.
SUBS
Georginio Wijnaldum (subbed on 63′): C
Steady as a Dutch Elm.
Daniel Sturridge (subbed on 71′): U
Unclassified because he was unrateable. Came on and decided he was Pele. Could have had three, got an assist, looked as dangerous as he’s been for a long while.
Ovie Ejaria (subbed on 87′): N/A
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Think a C for Karius is a bit harsh.
Every goal a work of art.
I am seriously in love with the team. Most exciting stretch of matches (11 in the league Including Burnley plus cup matches) I have seen from the Reds to be honest.
Even the keeper chips in today, and I really hope this match (performance) helps build his confidence (for himself) and status (for teammates and the fans). Long may it continue.
I fancied Wijnaldim to finally get his goal today too. Adam Lallana man of the match even without a goal. He’s properly brilliant.
Karius’ saves were good. Hopefully the revisionist Mignolet gimps can pack it in now.
Tom M, I fancied Sturridge to hit the bar twice too. Cheers
To reet petite by Jackie Wilson
Joel Matip hes making sure were never getting beat
O-o-o-oh
O-o-o-oh
To the first Noel… xmas song
Joel, Joel, Joel, Joel
born is a king og anfield
its not just for xmas, kids
To the first Noel… xmas song
Joel, Joel, Joel, Joel
born is a king of Anfield
not easy this typing lark
What a team these reds are: a force of nature. Shanks would be proud.
Thought Can was poor to be honest
Why are you criticising him for an honest display?!
Thought Matip was brilliant today. Love the way he gets his foot round before the striker gets it fully under control. He’s made a massive difference.
I noticed Matip has legs and neck made of special stretchable materials. He seems to be able to have a longer neck over Deeny to head clear from behind. Or able to clear without giving away foul. Really classy defender (and compared to some other defenders we used to have in recent years, Matip keeps me calm during the match. I can imagine the players around him must be feeling confident too)
It’s a kind of Matip-Queen
Take a bow Andy.
Best description of Emre Can.
Ever.
Der Panzer.
( still think Gini is JK’s preferred option though ).
Clyne is one of the most underrated players in the country. Apparently even by our own fans/journalists ;)
(mostly joking! I know you’ve sung his praises; but he was WAY better than a C today! He was excellent…)
Man! Those fucking Reds! Poetry in fucking motion! Everybody gets a A+! What the fuck!
Strong in the air (Joel Matip!)
To the tune of I love it (I don’t care)
By Icona Pop
This is what I reckon heavy metal football sounds like:
Karius )
Clyne )
Lovren ) – Drums
Matip )
Milner )
Henderson ) – Bass
Wijnaldum )
Lallana – Rhythm Guitar
Coutinho – Keyboards
Mane ) – Lead Guitar
Firmino )
Klopp – Lead vocals
I worry about keeping Coutinho and Bobby Firmino when clubs with more cash than class come in with £100m?
Yeah FSG out, look what they’ve done to our club. Oh, wait a minute…
Instead of waiting a minute, why not just spit it out and say “Saurez and Stirling”??
Yeah, FSG sell players. They even sell wooden seats sat on for years.
Both of who wanted to leave. They also bought our entire fantastic side, and employed a genuine world class manager. They must be doing something right eh?
,,Saido Mane,mane,mane saido mane,
The king of anfield road or he lives in a scousers world ,,,how about this song for mane ??, sang to the tune of money money money by ,,Abba ,,,#youknowitdefoworks .. lol lfc for life ynwa
Great review lads. Another cracking performance. How about for Joel Matip….. ‘you put Joel matip in, Joel matip out, in out, in out always heads it out….’ I’ll leave rest to you lads.
Joel Matip hop the hippie the hippie
To the hip hip hop, a you don’t stop
The rock it to the bang bang boogie
Say up jumped the boogie to the rhythm of the boogie
The beat
Thanks for the ratings Andy. Had a nice laugh, though Jordan Henderson gets an A+ for this:
“You don’t get anything for being top in November” – Jordan Henderson
One game at a time, please.
Up the Reds!!!
It’s Joel Matip
it’s Joel Matip
His name is not Alan Hansen
It’s Joel Matip
Thanks for this vital clarification.