I WOKE up this morning and I’d had enough. Not of life — life’s cool thanks; it wasn’t a general non-specific malaise: I’d had enough of football.
We spoke on Monday’s podcast about the way that nobody seems to know when the season ends/if it had ended/if it will ever end or if football now just rolls on day to day, season to season, decade to decade with no break. I woke up today and I needed a break. But the radio was talking about the Under-21 World Cup and I wondered if we had any players in it. I genuinely didn’t know and honestly didn’t care. The last thing on Earth that I wanted or needed was an Under-21 World Cup. I needed escape; time with no football whatsoever. Just for a few minutes at least.
I didn’t need the ongoing transfer fume. I didn’t need to get wound up about the fact that while we’re trying to figure out where the goals are coming from we’re signing an 18-year-old centre back from Charlton. One for the future. To sit alongside that Ilori lad — still only 22, folks — that we signed for the future and haven’t seen at all and possibly never will. And the rational side of my brain’s going, ‘yeah, but look at what Everton got in John Stones, this could be a John Stones signing’ but the irrational side is going, ‘yeah, but he cost them 30 quid and a set of Sunday league kits and this lad’s £6m or £3m or whatever figure you believe’ and the bored side is going, ‘I’m bored, can we just get this over with now?’
Part of me seriously wants the summer over now. Which is stupid because I’ve got two really nice holidays coming up and I’d like to enjoy them. I just want the speculation done with. I’m bored with the speculation, bored with the links, bored with Kovacic is done/will never be done/was never moving/we weren’t interested anyway and Firmino’s name being thrown in the mix and all the swap deals that will never — hold on, let’s capitalise that for effect shall we? — NEVER happen. And I’m bored of City’s ‘here’s another 50 quid, NOW can we have Raheem?’ Seriously lads? Which part of £50m are you not getting here? Me personally? Every time they come in with a low offer, I’d put another 10 mill on the lad. Just for the sheer hell of it. For shits and giggles basically. Give me Ian Ayre’s job, I’ll get the cash in and we’ll all have a laugh — a very public laugh, I’ll happily brief any bugger — while I do it.
But all that aside, I want the speculation to stop. I’m pretty sure — based on nothing but gut instinct — that I’m hitting first of September with a slightly underwhelmed air so let’s get it all settled and see how these lads that we’ve spent very little on settle in and start playing.
What I didn’t need was fixtures. I’ll be honest, there was a slight frisson as the 9am embargo approached — and God knows, I like a nice frisson as much as the next person — but then I couldn’t be overly bothered listening any further than ‘Stoke Away’.
Full hit, subject to change from Sky, BT, people with money, police…
Aug 8: Stoke (a)
Aug 15: Bournemouth (h)
Aug 22:…Posted by The Anfield Wrap on Wednesday, 17 June 2015
But Twitter kicked in and Twitter was full of fume. As Twitter tends to be. Season over now. We’ll never recover, we’ll be in a relegation battle by Christmas. The more positive went with gallows humour; photos of a grinning Jurgen Klopp attached to the comment ‘man investigated over Liverpool fixture rigging allegations’ (liked that one), ‘well at least there’s an easy run in for whoever takes over from Brendan’, ‘Kenny in charge by April’.
https://twitter.com/LFCZA/status/611097622456176640
Seven aways. All anyone was talking about was seven aways. The first seven aways. Stoke. Arsenal. United. That lot across the park. Spurs. Chelsea. City. Sod it, let’s throw in the Newcastle game the week after for good effect.
And I thought, ‘cool’. Suddenly I’m awake, suddenly the disinterest is gone. I still want to fast forward to August but for completely different reasons now. I want a crack at this. I want glory. I want the proof that any doubt that I ever had about Brendan Rodgers was/is/always will be totally unfounded. I want every lad that we sign, no matter how cheap, how unheralded, how unknown, how (supposedly) underwhelming to show me that they get this, that they’re up for this. Basically I think I want to be whelmed. If that’s a thing. I want to be blown away by a storm or red shirts, of black shirts, of whatever colour the other away kit is.
I want to see Danny Ings destroying the United defence to announce himself as a Red. I want to see the Gomez lad fending off Falcao, I want to see Lovren put Aguero in his pocket, I want to see Raheem rejuvenated, convinced, converted, compelled by the lads in front of him. I want to see Origi dazzling us, Lallana twisting and turning, Markovic weaving through packed penalty areas, I want to see every complaint that any of us have ever made thrown back at us. I want to see Brendan smiling knowingly. I want him to be smug in his rightness.
If I’m Brendan — I’m not, but if I am — I’m sitting at home looking at this and it’s exactly what I want the start of the season to be.
I’ve got the fixture list and I’m going ‘come on, fucking bring it on’ and I know that the plans that I’ve got, the plans that I haven’t shared with the lads who follow the game because they’re my secret plans and they’ll be far more fun if I don’t talk about them and if I just show them to people when the time’s right. And I’m going to start by twatting Stoke all over the place.
Me personally? I want the madness back. I want it now. I want ridiculous optimism based on absolutely nothing at all. And I can feel it coming.
An hour. It took me an hour to go from ‘no more football, please’ to ‘all the football now, let’s get started.’
Let’s get started, let’s have a laugh again.
LISTEN: A TAW Player special featuring reaction to today’s fixtures announcement
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Great article by one of the best lads on TAW. I was much the same, Ian – was fearful of the first fixture whoever it was going to be against. Then I looked at the first 10.
Bring it on.
We’d better have a decent understudy soon, because I’m betting ‘Fuck I’m Good, Just Ask Me’ will be ‘former Liverpool manager…’ by time we are digesting the Manu (away) result. That will be after he’s given Orrigo a stint on the left wing and Ings a run at RB. He’s a tactical genius, you know.
So you reckon FSG will only give Rodgers 5 games to save his job or is it wishful thinking?
Any chance of posting a comment without having a dig at the manager of the football club you support ?
No doubt you cannot wait for him to fail so you can give yourself a big pat on the back.
If you think he called himself a tactical genius, then I pity your life of misunderstanding everything you read.
That’s just a stupid lazy comment.
Good stuff Ian.
I want loads of money, a big villa in Ibiza, a young mistress, Liverpool to win the league next season and for me and my kids to live forever. x
A truly sink or swim first half of the season for Rodgers
Given his record against top 4 teams particularly away from home I wouldn’t be holding my breath, but let’s hope he finally pulls something outta a hat
As usual Ian you cheer me right up with your boundless enthusiasm!
An Anfield full of you & we would have a much better chance every other week.
Not having that first game of the season; someone’s taking the piss somewhere. All of the teams that finished above us and the derby as the next aways consecutively? On the bright side, we have all these teams at home in the second half of the season and if Sturridge is fit/we sign someone as good we’re picking up all the points in around Christmas and the run in.
You saying it was rigged? That you Moyes?
I like the sink or swim ness of it myself. It will give a clearer picture, quicker of whether Rodgers still has something to offer LFC.
And the flip side of 7 hard aways has to be 7 home “gimmees”, right?
Not per se, but fuck me what are the odds?! Actually there’ll be an answer to that but I’m no good at maths myself, Youdothemath.
Good one Ian. I saw the fixtures and I thought “alright that”
The only thing that irked me was the random fixture computer- yeah right- Leicester on a Boxing Day. The bogey team of our past always seemed to be over Xmas.
Come on you Red Men. Bring it on.
We’re knackered. See you in August…2016!
We’re fucked. Don’t feel any hope at all. In keeping Rodgers, FSG have killed hope.
Thanks Ian. Nice to see someone looking forward with a positive attitude.
Makes a refreshing change from the endless cynicism that has been on parade from so many recently. A default, easy cynicism paraded for every piece of news about the club.
WWDWDWWWWWW
I’ll take that, and then we stuff Chelsea 5-0 at their gaff, well, i’ll take a 3-0 win, if i have to.
Dead easy.
If we get to the end of September with more then 30 points then we have made a super start to the season.
If we lose and they sack Brendan at the end of September and we have more then 20 points then realise that nothing is lost and we can still finish 4th!
Nonsense. There are only 7 games by the ‘end of September’ so how is he going to get more than 30? ‘More than 20’… (21) we will likely be top so why would he get sacked? Such a senseless comment
Sorry my bad, I did mean October- My mistake! I stand by that point though that 20 points by End of October would be good!
Can’t help but think that any sort of loss to Stoke on day 1 might be a massive kick in the nads of confidence for these lads who will still have the pain of their last trip to the britannia etched in. If they don’t appear motivated in that game then Brendan should go straight after, never mind the next 6 aways.
That said, losing those next 6 aways shouldn’t be an issue, as long as we are picking up 3 points in EVERY game that we “should” ( I. E. All of them). After all, we would all start the season accepting and possibly expecting that we may come off 2nd best in those fixtures – just because they all come at once rather than spread over the season shouldn’t really heap more pressure on Brendan.
Firstly, on Stoke: 1) I can’t think of a better way to fire up the squad than to set them loose on Stoke again. Whatever pride they possess in their body will have them chomping at the bit. 2) The last time we faced Stoke on opening day, we came within a grass blade of the title. So, I’m seeing nothing but blue skies, as the song goes.
Secondly, on sackings: Rodgers will not be sacked in the first few months. FSG, for their own image, would hang on until the winter break. In which case, we have 7 very winnable games in a row, starting with Swansea. So, crunch time for Rodgers could come just as he has put together a proper hot streak.
Thirdly, our boss new striker: It is clear as day – at least in my imagination – that Benteke is nothing more than a smoke screen. Having been burned on several occasions by going public with our targets, LFC have wisely decided that discretion is the better part of transfer. So, it will be glee mixed with astonishment when the club announce that Lacazette (or a similarly mind-blowing talent) will be awkwardly holding up a shirt in a few days time.
From your lips to Gods ear. Thank You I needed that.
Grrrrrrrrrr
It’s worth noting that after every Europa game we would play we’re at home with the exception of the Bluenoses away. Hopefully this will mean we don’t need the “Thursday/Sunday” excuse. Not saying we will win it but one of the reasons Chelsea did so well last season as they had played the majority of the top teams away in the first part of the season, after Christmas they just needed to win the home games after building a lead.
I’m just hoping we can pull off the Benteke or Lorente deals so we can get back to playing that fast, fluent, dynamic, attacking football we all loved so much. Otherwise I think we’re really going to struggle. It’s a tough start.