By David Segar
I’VE written this a day later than I intended to because this is the first time I’ve been able to finally admit to myself that it actually happened. This Liverpool team, Brendan’s glorious bastards, it lost, actually lost, to THAT Chelsea. Eleven wins in a row, halted by Chelsea Anti-Football Club (I’m not bitter, I’m really not).
I went to the gym immediately after the game to try and sweat out the result (that didn’t work), I listened to some loud music (that didn’t work), and of course considered drink, but that would have been too obvious. That’s what Jose would have wanted, and then when my guard was down he’d have come round my house and put padlocks on all my cupboard doors, then shit on my pillow for good measure.
No, instead I ate an entire dark chocolate Easter egg and watched eight episodes of Alan Partridge, and while that helped a bit (cashback), I soon remembered why I’d been trying to escape reality. My mixture of despair and Partridge almost led to me driving to Dundee in my bare feet with only a glove box full of medium-sized Toblerones to keep me company.
A full day of work where I sulked like a six-year old who’s been told he can’t go out and play British Bulldog (kids still play that right?), a few attempts at a false smile, but there was nothing inside but hollow darkness, much like the egg I consumed the previous evening. Just to add to the ever increasing dark cloud of morosity, the trains home were knackered. Almost instinctively, I blamed Jose Mourinho.
Now, I like to think I’m a man who will stand up and admit when he’s wrong, as I frequently am. Some might argue that I ended up being a bit wrong when I tweeted last Tuesday night that ‘Chelsea will have to alter their game plan drastically for Sunday because playing ‘that’ way, Liverpool will rip them apart.’ So Chelsea came to Anfield, played ‘that’ way, exactly the same way as they had done against Atletico Madrid, and it worked pretty much in every conceivable way you could have imagined. Time waste, foul, argue, DEFEND, time waste again, then wait for an error to score a goal in both sets of injury time, injury time that only existed because of their own time-wasting. That is the arrogance of Mourinho’s Chelsea. Create injury time, then score in it.
How did this happen? That wasn’t supposed to happen. It was all set for something else. You could see it at the start of the game just by looking at the two managers. Brendan Rodgers stood with his shoulders practically grazing the clouds, suit, tie, shiny shoes, while Mourinho stood shoulders slumped in petulance, trackie and a gillet with old trainers. Rodgers there with his hair combed and his face clean shaven, Mourinho with his hair skew-whiff and stubble. Not designer stubble either. I thought someone was going to put a blanket over him and invite him in for soup.
The difference in appearance wasn’t just limited to the managers. Their teams played the way their leaders presented. Liverpool were the style and the grace against a Chelsea who were the rugged, uncouth and probably foul-smelling opposition.
Okay I’ll rein in the bitterness a tad. We certainly could have played better and Chelsea executed a rather simple game plan as effectively as they could have wished. They got the three points and congratulations to them. I sincerely hope I never see Liverpool play that way (no Benitez comparisons please because you’re simply wrong before the argument begins), but Chelsea and Mourinho won in exactly the way they’d envisioned before the match.
However, what particularly got my goat was that Liverpool clearly wore the white hat and Chelsea the black. Jose Mourinho has cast himself in the role as the bad guy ever since he arrived in England, so how come the bad guy was getting the girl, finding the treasure and driving away from the hero’s corpse in a stolen Ferrari? Okay Chelsea probably aren’t going to win the league, but they did their best to take us down with them.
Have we been too spoiled by fairytales and cinema that, more often than not, the bad guy does come out on top because, let’s face it, he always has more resources. The odds are always stacked against our hero, but he overcomes them in the end… doesn’t he?
What immediately shot into my head was the ending of Se7en. Jose Mourinho told Brendan Rodgers to look in the box, and he saw Steven Gerrard’s head. This was Saw, this was No Country for Old Men, this was doing my bloody head in (no Gwyneth Paltrow pun intended).
The slip, oh the slip. For Stevie to make the mistake, it could have been Sakho or Skrtel, or even Flanno “he’s young, he’ll bounce back”, but for it to be Stevie. Even Frank Lampard was saying Stevie deserves the title. What he certainly didn’t deserve was for that to happen. Dr Steve Peters will be earning his money this week and then some.
But hold on, this film isn’t over yet. Some would argue that Gerrard’s slip was almost so unlikely and tragic that it was fate intervening, but then what was Fulham? What was holding on against Sunderland when the others didn’t? What was everything the City game was? What was going to Norwich and beating them the one week they decided to fight? What was spanking United 3-0 at… okay that one was pretty standard, but the others could surely only happen for a reason? A big silvery shiny crown-wearing nineteenth reason.
We’re now in a position where we’re relying on Everton, Villa or West Ham to get something off City, there it is. That’s the hand we’re now dealt. So what? Title races are mad, and this one has already been sectioned twice. In fact we’re the only ones in the race who have dropped points in a particularly sensible game in recent weeks. Remember, Everton not losing to City is far from a mad result.
You’ve all seen films. The good guy doesn’t win fourteen games in a row and lift the title/woman at the end. There are obstacles thrown in his way, especially just before the climax when the evil Portuguese villain puts him in an almost insurmountable looking position, up against sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads. But he triumphs in the end. The credits are ages away yet, there’s life in this story.
What was it Kenneth Wolstenholme said? “They think it’s all over! Fuck off! There’s ages left yet!” or something to that effect.
Going Again, from the makers of Raging Istanbul, has been nominated for one award. Will it have a happy ending? It has to, doesn’t it?
Pics: Propaganda / David Rawclifee
A slip. That was the difference. If it weren’t for that moment (and I’m not blaming Gerrard) I think we would’ve easily played out a 0-0.
BTW: We will win this.
Great, GREAT post, mate. We go again.
David, summed up my emotional ride, and i suspect countless thoudands of others very accuratley.
Results in football are never gauranteed, and sometimes not even earnt. Chelsea deserved what they got by executing a game plan perfectly. It may not sit well, it may not feel right, it may be the anthesis of football – but it was sure as hell effective. Rodgers has many attributes as a coach and one of them seems to be the ability to learn and adapt. We may face the 1-9-1 formation again – we need to learn.
As for the title, nothing has been won yet, no trophy tied with ribbons. We are still in this by a long way, points will be dropped and won (by us and Man City).
I implore all LFC fans – hold your families close and ENJOY the ride, they dont come often. Drink, dance, love, and live life like we ARE the champions!
Regardless of what happens over the next 2 weeks – the red tide is rising!!
BELEIVE!
Superb.
Anyone quoting Partridge is always worth a read.
Best thing I’ve read on here since this TAW thing was set up (well since crazy bob !).
Great references. You’ve raised the bar yourself there.
Well done.
Agreed. And he writes in proper sentences unlike Neil. (sorry Neil).
What we can do is ensure the sub human scum don’t fluke theirway to the title .6 points and they eat our dust whatever else occurs 6 points and the babbons touch line hysterics and his. Badge beating gilet wearing am drams are rendered worthless .get those 6 points. Liverpool if you never do anything else
Love the article. First time I laughed since Sunday. I propose yet another twist to this epic movie – fast forward to the last day of the season – Day starts with both City & LFC on 83 points, only separated by goal difference – It’s 0-0 at both games, we’re well into injury time and it’s looking like we’re going to fall short yet again – Just as the supporters, with a look of resignation on their faces start to sing YNWA just like they always do – win or lose – The hero (Stevie G) kicks one of his specials only this time – it’s the title winning goal whilst over at the Etihad, Man City thought they had it won. Oh, the irony.
Awesome Mate.
“sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads.” Legend!
Real moral lifting article – thanks! YNWA P
Go and get a drink!If nothing else it numbs the pain.
I do feel sorry for you lads though.You seem to get quite hysterical about recent results.2005 was a long time ago now but I know how many of you must feel as the years have passed.
In my case it goes back much longer than that.But then again I started off watching when we weren’t even ” also rans” for honours.
So,as the years have passed ,I can enjoy just being a Liverpudlian and supporting the Team.
Sure I’ve been to great games and enjoyed our great successes.But that’s not what I joined for.
I joined because I’m a Liverpudlian and I treat any great imposter just the same!
Nice piece with a touch of Partridge for good measure, back of the net!
If you’ve had the stomach to read or listen to the press then José is a god, a tactical master, a genius. I beg to differ, and I bet if our dear press pack had to pay to watch football instead of getting freebies then I think Chelsea would get no coverage at all with their version of what we call football.
We lost. I hate losing. Especially to Chelsea. Especially when they play like that…
Brendan, don’t go changing on me please. I love the way we play and look forward to each game in the same way a child looks forward to their birthday or Christmas.
If Chelsea fans can say the same thing about watching José’s gash then they’re a much sadder bunch than I ever could have imagined…
THE TITLE IS STILL ON AND WE ARE STILL TOP OF THE LEAGUE!!
Here’s a sobering thought, no one has won the Premier League after leaking over 45 goals. We’re on 46.
If we are the hero, I fear at the moment, we’re too Dudley Dooright and not John MacLaine enough.
Great article, we were entitled to sulk, but the longer we get swayed by these negative emotions the further we lose sight of the end game. A slip yes but slips are not exclusive to ourselves. Cliche, cliche, cliche I know but come on I’d still prefer to be top of the league right now with 2 to play. Remember how the blue moonies struggled to beat QPR on that final day 2 seasons ago! Everton away, a desperate Villa? Slippy, slippy games!
Thoughtful and salient. I rather enjoyed the article. Let’s not count us out before the credits roll, we’d hate to miss the ending.