THE Liverpool squad (minus Daniel Sturridge. And someone else who I’ll get round to later) for the tour to Indonesia has been announced. We’ve had Luis Alberto and Simon Mignolet posing with Indonesian flags (although you’d be forgiven for thinking it was an upside-down Poland flag. At least it makes a change from the club announcing a new Mongolian website). There was even a tour poster to coincide with it. Stevie G there looking broody.

The LFC twitter account has gone tour crazy today. It’s tweeted photos of the plane that the team will be flying in and it showed them boarding the plane. At least they’ve stopped it there and they’re not actually going to video the entire flight… are they?

The LFC twitter account has gone tour crazy today. It’s tweeted photos of the plane that the team will be flying in and it showed them boarding the plane. At least they’ve stopped it there and they’re not actually going to video the entire flight… are they?

The 2013-4 pre-season is still very much in its infancy but already it’s been a bit of a marketing watershed for the big Premier League clubs. The amount of posters that clubs have released to advertise their tour to Thailand/ China/ USA/ Australia as it it were a summer blockbuster movie is quite remarkable. The most ludicrous is this effort by Manchester United as they announce the arrivals of David de Gea and Robin van Persie. Cringeworthy just about sums it up.

https://twitter.com/ManUtd/status/356322187646480385/

I mean seriously, what the fuck is that about?

Meanwhile, away from the increasing Hollywoodisation of football…

Obviously Stevie G signed a new deal yesterday, and everyone’s happy aren’t they? Well not Adrian Durham, who laments on Mail Online that Gerrard’s potential was never fulfilled because he was denied a move to Man Utd by us vicious and greedy supporters. Yeah that’s right, the two-time Football Writers Player of the Year who’s captained his hometown club to a Champions League triumph didn’t fulfil his potential. Christ.

(He also in the same column offers a deadly serious argument, and definitely not a chauvinistic rant, about how the women’s game will only progress if the men are there to keep goal. Go figure.)

It’s been a while since a new transfer hasn’t it? But never fear, the club are continuing to not be interested in either Christian Eriksen or Xherdan Shaqiri. (Both players who I’ve signed for Liverpool on Football Manager in the past and can categorically guarantee did alright.)

Ian Ayre’s been in the news too, which is great obviously. Talking about Luis Suarez, who else? But it’s just another round of sparring. I’m sick and tired of the whole stand-off, but it should prove fascinating when he actually does return to the fold, supposedly in Melbourne.

In a rare turn of events our pesky Uruguayan hasn’t spoken today. But his starring role in a Uruguayan office advert has come to light. And it is fantastic.

But as the team jets off around the world it’s hard to believe that pre-season began a week ago. Has it been a week already? Boy it’s only 32 days ‘til Stoke. That’s essentially a month. That means it’s been 58 days since the final game of last season at QPR. Time is a strange thing, and it football

(Of course before the Premier League starts again it’s the glitz and glamour of the Community Shield, with the added intrigue this year of a seismic clash between David Moyes and Owen Coyle. Just digest that. David Moyes. And Owen Coyle. In the Community Shield. And people say the English game has lost its lustre?)

I’d love to know what goes through the minds of players surplus to requirements when pre-season gets going. Did Jay Spearing see his name on the team sheet for Preston away and think, “Oh here we go, I’m gonna stamp my authority on this side!” I’d like to think he’s not that naive, but let’s be honest he probably is.

Which brings us on to Dani Pacheco. Poor, poor Dani Pacheco. What must he be thinking as he enters his 6253238th pre-season at Liverpool Football Club? Well it all seems a bit brutal; after tweeting his excitment ahead of the tour yesterday he’s been brought back down to earth with a bump. He ain’t going, and he’s devo’d. Let’s just end it for Dani now, keep it humane. He doesn’t need this slow torture any longer.

There’s only so many loan spells, false dawns and future promise that one can deal with, surely?

We’ve had a week to get used to Martin Kelly’s new barnet now. There’s a bit of a trend for injured players growing their hair long. We’ve had it before with Milan Baros, Vladimir Smicer and Harry Kewell. Is there no barbers in Liverpool for injured footballers? Or is it all a façade? Are they so desperate to prove themselves all over again that they’ll go to any length to look like a new signing?

It’s a mystery that will likely never be solved.

As we wait on potential new transfers, here’s a trip through the LFC archive of transfer talk in the last few years –

ON THIS DAY:

2011 –  We were basking in the glow of Stewart Downing’s arrival at Anfield. That passed us by didn’t it?

2010 – Liverpool manager Roy Hodgson (is it safe to laugh yet?) denied the club were close to agreeing terms with Loic Remy. The Hodge added, “He’s a player I know very little about. If I am going to be interested in a player I am going to have to watch him playing, study him and make judgments which I have not been able to.” Classic Hodgey.

Could be worse, eh?

ANNE WATT